


A Summer to Remember

by Whackabee



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Elsanna - Freeform, F/F, icest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:52:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 43,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3303095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whackabee/pseuds/Whackabee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern A/U Elsanna fic, they're still sisters. It follows both of the sisters through major changes in their life and whatnot, much like the changes you see in Frozen. Timespan is several years.  The POV is pretty much equal parts Elsa and Anna. The two must sort through the messes that are their lives, and must come to face their feelings, amongst other difficulties. M for Elsanna. Organized in a 3 act style.<br/>I originally started this fic on FF.net, and it's done (except for the epilogue) but I thought I'd post it here, too.  I'll be editing it as I post to here, and I'll be putting up at least one chapter a day.  With the epilogue, it'll be 33 chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Session

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to use italics on this site yet, so until then, thoughts 'will be marked like this, using apostrophes like quotation marks.'
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Like I said, I'll try to post at least one chapter a day, since really all I have to do is a little editing on each one.

"Anna?" A woman appeared from the hallway, peering into the waiting room where Anna was restlessly wiggling her legs and playing with her amber braids of hair.

"Y-yeah that's m-me." The red head said, her voice quite shaky with nervousness. She slowly stood up, her legs barely able to keep still enough to keep her on her feet.

"Please follow me." The lady shot Anna a reassuring smile and waited for her to start following before beginning down the hallway.

Obliging, Anna slowly started walking. Every step brought her an inch closer to collapsing in uneasiness, her stomach was yelling out her her to bend over and release her breakfast. 'But those pancakes were so good, all those chocolate chips, I don't want to lose it all over the floor!' Her knees were barely listening to the girl as she commanded them to walk, and when she got to where the woman was standing, said lady turned and started down the hall. The hallway began to elongate itself, giving Anna the illusion that she was an asymptote approaching a limit, her infinite destination. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Anna pressed on, almost falling over more than once.

"Okay, right in here." The woman said, and noticing how nervous Anna was she quickly added, "Don't worry, everyone is nervous the first time they see a counselor, but you are very brave coming in here on your own." The woman smiled at Anna, who gave a weak smile back.

Her heart calming a little at her counselor's words, Anna let out a small sigh of relief as she entered the room and placed herself on a couch that was directly across from the woman's chair. The couch was soft and leather, and she almost fell inside of it. 'This thing is so comfy! I could sleep here.'

The woman shut the door as she walked in and sat down across from Anna so the two were face to face as she began speaking. "I'm Bulda." She reached her hand out to shake Anna's and the red head did so. Bulda's hands were warm and soft, appropriately comforting for her profession.

"Bulda is an interesting name," Anna said, more to herself.

The counselor smiled and simply replied "my parents were interesting people." Not a hint of offense was in hidden in her voice.

Anna chuckled to herself, she was much more comfortable now that she was out of the waiting room. 'To be honest, this couch is helping quite a bit and this lady seems really nice.'

"Before we officially begin I must inform you of a couple things."

"O-okay, what are they?" Anna asked, her nerves clearly getting the better of her.

Picking up a hint of anxiety in Anna's voice, Bulda was quick to explain. "It's nothing bad, just that these conversations will be recorded and saved in our archives. They will not be released under any circumstances unless we have your permission, but they will be reviewed by my colleagues in order to determine whether or not I am preforming my duties as a counselor adequately. Then, of course, your name won't be mentioned on the tape, only mine."

"Oh, okay, so no one except another counselor is going to see this unless I say it's okay?" Anna was relieved it was just a privacy assurance instead of Bulda saying something like she was mentally ill and needed to be locked up. 'How would she know that anyway? I mean I am weird, but not that weird... right? And I just got here, I worry too much.' She chuckled to herself.

"Correct. So, if you would, sign here to signify that you accept this and we can get started." Bulda handed Anna a clipboard, pointing to a line with the word 'Signature' written underneath it.

"Will do" the red head called out as she grabbed the pen and clip board, scribbling her name on the indicated line. She had almost forgotten why she was here. Almost.

A quiet click appeared as Bulda pressed the record button on a tape recorder. "So," the lady began, "let's get started with the basics. Your name is Anna Arendelle, correct?" Anna gave a small nod, her stomach beginning to once again be eaten away by the critters of her nervousness. "Are you in high school?"

"Yes." Anna looked up at Bulda and continued, "I just finished my freshmen year."

"I see, so you're on summer break?"

"Yeah, I just started it a couple days ago."

"I see" said Bulda, her voice still comforting. "And would you like to dive right in to why you came in here?"

Anna's her heart sank, its beat speeding up. 'Maybe I should just go? No, no I need this.' The red head slowly exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Her pulse was pounding through her head like a hammer as she tried to talk. "I-I, well it's m-my s-s-sister, E-Elsa." Her voice was weak and shaken, barely audible.

"Is she older or younger than you?" Bulda's face was soft.

With great difficulty Anna piped up "O-older. She just f-finished her senior y-year of h-high school."

"Did Elsa go to the same school as you?"

"Y-yes." Anna looked at her feet and fiddled with her hands. Her palms were hot and sweaty.

"So, what about your sister would you like to discuss?" Bulda's voice was not pressing, it was very patient. 'This woman must have to have infinite patience at her job. She'll have to to deal with me so she'd better.'

Anna raised her head to make eye contact with her counselor, her eyes misting slightly already. You can do this. "I- I'm, well, c-confused." The red head's voice was violently shaking now, as the time got closer. Her stomach had small dragons flying inside of his, reigning terror throughout her entire body.

Then, a soft voice broke through her defenses of hopelessness and rang in her ears, "what's confusing you?"

Sniffling now, Anna grabbed a tissue from a box readily available on a side table by the couch and held it. Once again the hammer was pounding her temples, and those chocolate chip pancakes threatened to evacuate her stomach. A lump was choking her, but she spoke in a small voice around it. "I- I think I h-have f-f-f" Anna couldn't finish her sentence. Luckily, Bulda understood.

"You think you have feelings for Elsa?" There was not a hint of judgment in Bulda's voice, just a calming air about it.

Anna felt burning tears escape from her eyes and her nose become runny. She nodded quickly and brought the tissue to her face, blowing her nose into it. 'I'm already crying, great.' She felt the weight of the world lifted from her shoulders now that she had told someone her secret, but she also felt and impending doom. Like everyone in the world would forever judge her for what she had just admitted. Judge her like she is the sickest human being to walk the earth. Like she was a useless piece of scum that needs to be erased. To her surprise, when she cautiously looked back up at Bulda, the counselor had an understanding smile on her lips, making Anna feel a little bit better about herself. 'Maybe not everyone will hate you. Maybe only Elsa.' The thought of Elsa hating her made Anna cringe in her seat, a knife puncturing her heart.

"When did you come to realize these feelings?" Once again, Bulda's voice was perfectly soothing. Like the eye of a storm.

"W-well, I t-think over winter break this past school y-year." Anna sniffled, noting her voice was slightly less weak than before.

"What happened over break?" Bulda seemed genuinely interested.

"E-E-Elsa has always been quite an i-introvert, but we have always b-been pretty c-close." Anna's voice was becoming less shaky and she was slowly regaining control of her stomach. Wiping her nose she continued, "but over b-break she let herself spill her inner feelings to me f-for the first time in forever." The red head paused, looking weekly up at Bulda, who still had a warm, soft expression. Feeling her heart beating faster at the thought of Elsa, Anna pressed on, nervous as she was. "I guess that I-I had f-feelings for her before, just it took this for me to really s-see it."

"What happened?"

And so Anna began her story.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elsa had always been a little bit distant, but being her sister, Anna understood. Their parents were unfairly strict, giving them both a curfew of no later than 9 P.M. Elsa, not really having any friends, didn't mind so much because she mainly just stayed in her room all day every day. Elsa hated anyone being in her room, except one person, her younger sister Anna. This always made Anna feel very special.

Almost every day for the past year or so, Anna would gently knock on Elsa's door to get a response along the lines of "enter" or "come in." Elsa didn't have to ask who it was because she knew Anna's knock like the back of her hand. It was less forceful than the knock either of her parents used, letting a soft rapping noise flutter through the air. As for anyone else, well, no one came over to hang out with Elsa. 'Well, I think she thinks of Kristoff as a friend, after all he is my best friend aside from her and she lets him into her room with me every now and then.' But she let Anna in on a daily basis, no matter what she was in the middle of. The red head was content to come in and watch her older sister play video games, in aw of the spectacular sequences on the screen, especially during one of the few Anna could remember the name of, "God of War III".

As of some point during high school, Elsa never really talked much, but every so often she'd turn around and shoot Anna a little smile that made tingly spiders crawl up and down Anna's skin. She liked it, she loved just being in Elsa's room with her. Her older sister was not one to show what she was thinking much, but every time Anna would walk up behind the platinum blonde and gently wrap her arms around her, Elsa would rest her head back and look up into Anna's teal eyes, smiling. The red head would smile back and make a deep eye contact with her sister, they would gaze into each other's minds. This was how Elsa preferred to talk, silently, with looks rather than words. Elsa would stay there for a moment and say a simple "thanks" then go back to whatever she was doing, but keep her dumb grin. Usually some sort of video game. Anna's heart would flutter slightly and she would happily release her embrace, the image of Elsa's beautifully blue eyes still in her mind.

Shortly after Anna started school at the same high school as Elsa, the two would go to school together in the morning, eat lunch together, and come home together. Elsa drove them to and from school, she had managed to get a parking spot for the year, and she owned her own car, a 1992 Honda Accord. It was white and not spectacular but it got the job done. Anna cherished each moment she spent with Elsa, especially at lunch, because despite Elsa not talking to almost anyone, the girl would still sit by Anna and Anna's friends. Sometimes Kristoff would engage Elsa in a conversation about some video game and the red head would just smile at seeing her sister talking to someone and enjoying herself. Anna's friends had gotten pretty used to Elsa's quiet mannerisms and didn't take offense when they only got one word answers from her anymore.

Even though Anna herself didn't have that many friends, just a couple really, she knew that even that small of a group was hard for Elsa to deal with. The thought that Elsa would sit through a group of people just to be next to her sister at lunch made Anna feel light as a feather. She just wanted to yell out in joy that Elsa was that close to her. After they went home, the two made it a habit to get some snacks involving chocolate in some way and and head to Elsa's room to work on their homework. Elsa would help Anna on her homework, putting it before her own, a gesture that meant a lot to the younger girl.

Then, about halfway through the first semester of school, Anna started dating a guy named Hans. To everyone else Hans seemed like a nice guy, well, kinda. Elsa, however, instantly hated him, and Anna could never figure out why. 'Well, she is really good at reading people, maybe I should be careful with him,' she had thought. The platinum blonde would just give Hans a death glare whenever he was near, and he never made any attempt to talk to her.

As the school year progressed, Anna and Hans slowly became closer. Anna, wanting to take it slow since it was her first real relationship, found herself thankful of her curfew sometimes. She would be on a date with Hans and suddenly yearn to talk to Elsa, to tell Elsa all the things she couldn't tell Hans. It wasn't that the red head didn't like hanging out with her boyfriend, she did. 'Well, at least I thought I did.' Rather, it was that she couldn't tell him anything deep down that was bothering her, or even mention Elsa in passing without him becoming angry at her.

In fact, Anna distinctly remembered one night not long before winter break started when she was at dinner with Hans. She was particularly un-talkative that evening because she had been thinking about why Elsa disliked her boyfriend so much. 'What if she is right about him? I mean, he gets mad at me for speaking my mind all the time. That's not a healthy relationship, even someone as sheltered as me knows that.' Anna was letting her mind wander as her hand idly played with her fork, spinning spaghetti around and then unwinding it again. The red head had her cheek resting on her hand and was staring into space, her stomach full of this weird unease. Her heart was working harder than normal to keep her awake, feeling the affect of its own weight as the thought about how she'd rather be sitting watching Elsa play Deathzone: Something Fall or whatever it was called on her new Playstation 4. 'I know it had 'Zone' and 'Fall' in its name. Uh, Deathzone? No. Killzone? Yeah, Killzone, Killzone Something Fall.' A little proud of herself for remembering part of the title, Anna perked up for a moment and focused on the room around her.

She slumped back in disappointment when she saw Hans glaring at her over his food. 'Is it normal to only be thinking of hanging out with your sister while on a date with your boyfriend?' Anna's heart fluttered as she thought about Elsa, what Elsa was probably doing right now and how she would walk up behind her older sister and give her the loose hug she did almost every day. Her arms would rest just bellow Elsa's chest, and she would feel those slender, soft fingers wrap around her upper arms just above her elbow. It always gave her goosebumps and a chill down her spine. Then, Elsa's dreamy blue eyes would look at Anna's and she would get lost in the sky that was her older sister's irises. 'I really do want to just be hanging out with Elsa right now. I'm completely ignoring Hans.' She didn't care though, she was lost in a daydream about holding Elsa and feeling her warmth against her own body. The smile that her older sister would let grace her lips, causing Anna's heart to raise through the roof and a goofy smile to appear on her own face. She loved seeing Elsa happy. But Hans didn't. He got upset at the slightest mention of Elsa, sometimes to the point that it scared Anna. And that glare Elsa gave Hans when she saw him. If looks could kill, then Anna would have a dead boyfriend right now. In fact, Anna was pretty sure her older sister's glare was slowly killing Hans, but for some weird reason the thought didn't bother her. Instead it made her feel proud about having a sister that cared for her so much. 'Is that bad?'

"What's up with you tonight?" Hans more demanded than asked, he was clearly annoyed at Anna's silence. "We've been here for like half an hour and you haven't said a word or started on your food."

Anna looked down at her plate, he was right, she had ordered spaghetti and meatballs and not taken a single bite. She blushed lightly and quietly replied "sorry."

Even though Anna was smiling Hans was scowling back at her. It made her uncomfortable and she shifted a little bit in her seat. "What's on your mind?" His tone was a little softer now.

Sitting up, Anna looked her boyfriend in his greyish eyes. 'They don't have the same shine as Elsa's.' Anna wanted desperately to escape the question, she knew if she told the truth Hans would explode, but she was terrible at lying and hated doing it. Her heart racing, the red head looked around for and out and spotted a restroom sign in the back corner of the restaurant. "I-I need to use the restroom, I'll be right b-back." Anna hurriedly got out of her seat, almost tripping over the leg of her chair.

As she burst into the bathroom, Anna dashed over to the sink. She took water in her hands and splashed it on her face, bringing her out of her panicking frenzy. 'What are you doing?' Looking in the mirror she saw her reflection looking right back at her. 'Just tell him you were daydreaming of Elsa, it's not like he'll judge you.' So much of her wanted to believe that thought, but she just couldn't. Hans had lashed out so many times before at just the mention of Elsa. This scared Anna quite a bit, if he was going to be that childish about her sister, wasn't Elsa right about him? 'She did tell you outright that she doesn't like him when you first started dating him. I mean, he is a sophomore, so she has probably seen him around the school and knows who he is, right?' Another voice in Anna's head was screaming out to not tell Hans, just tell him that she's tired and needs to go home. Fake being okay, because telling him how she was feeling would only make it worse. 'Even if, how would I go about telling him? 'Hey yeah, so I've been daydreaming about Elsa this entire time and frankly I'm a little bit scared of you sometimes.' Yup, wonderful. Just wonderful.' Collecting herself, Anna decided to lie to Hans and say that she was simply tired. Her nerves calmed a bit knowing she had found a solution, but still, she hated fibbing, no matter how small.

Taking a deep breath, the red head walked out of the bathroom, small spots of water visible on her face and dress. She walked back to where Hans was sitting, knees a little wobbly because she knew she was about to lie to him. Anna slowly lowered herself back into her seat and went to face Hans. Her heart started pounding as she met his eyes, they looked lifeless and gray.

Over the pounding of her blood, Anna heard Hans. "What was that all about?" He asked, clearly a little bit annoyed.

"Well I'm just um," 'You can do it, just say that you're tired.' "I've just been, well," 'No, say you're tired and you need to go home.' "You scare me sometimes." Anna instantly realized what she said and began to panic, hands racing up to cover her open mouth. Her heart was beating like a drum, she could feel the pulse bolting through her. Her stomach knotted and tore itself to shreds. 'WHAT?'

"What!?" Hans was clearly mad. His face was a little red and he gripped is fork tighter, white appearing at his fingertips. Anna's mind started racing, she couldn't slow it down so she grabbed the first thought she could.

"I mean, when I'm with Elsa I feel calm a-and when I'm with you I feel tense and scared and like you won't support me. Like I can't talk to you, and that not how it should be if you're my boy-"

"Always bring up your stupid sister, huh!?" Hans was shouting, Anna sank in her seat, she could feel the eyes of everyone else in the restaurant burning holes in both of them. 'I knew he'd get mad.'

“Hans, please, I-”

Hans lowered is voice to a fierce whisper, but it was still loud and scared Anna to death. "Have you ever thought maybe I don't care about you? Huh? I'm with someone else, and man how innocent you are not to figure it out. You are a stupid, sheltered girl. I don't need you, Anna, I don't want you. No one wants you. Why don't you leave? You can walk home, maybe your sister wants you. After all, you seem to have crush on her."

A knife stabbed Anna's heart, then twisted and yanked and jerked around, tearing the organ into a thousand pieces. She felt like vomiting, and probably would have if she had touched her food. Anna couldn't move. Instead, she sat there in shock, staring blankly at the man before her, insides on fire. 'Elsa was right.' The red head tried to stand, she couldn't. Her legs weren't working. How could they? With everything Hans had just spat at her, all of her energy was being used up to try and calm the torrential flood of thoughts ravaging her mind.

The atmosphere of the restaurant had changed now, it was tense and awkward. People were mumbling, watching, and judging the couple.

After an eternity and a half sitting idly in front of him, Anna's legs finally obeyed her commands. Slowly, she got up, violently quivering, with weak knees and a very red face. As one last thoughtless act for the night, Anna grabbed her almost untouched cup of ice water and splashed the water all over Hans. She felt a certain sense of satisfaction and managed to regain herself a little bit. Frantically trying to think of an adequate reply to what she had just been told, Anna shot a thousand insults through her head, but none were even kind of good. Giving up with a bit of frustration, Anna turned an walked away from a fuming wet Hans, pulling out her phone to call Elsa.

"That's right, just go back to your dumb sister, I bet she won't even answer the phone." Anna's blood was boiling, she could almost feel the steam bursting through her ears as she selected Elsa's name in her contacts. 'Elsa will pick up. She always does.'

Crossing the doors to the outside, Anna held the phone up to her ear, listening to it ring. It had gotten noticeably colder outside, and she began to shiver, or maybe she was shivering because of how angry and humiliated she was. She just wanted to sink into the ground and be lost in a void forever, no one else to judge her. Just then she heard a voice on the other end.

"Anna? Aren't out on a date with.. Hans?" Elsa paused before saying his name. Anna flinched a little when she did.

The red head tried to conjure up a response but instead just started crying into the phone. Tears ran down her cheeks, tickling her as they went. Her nose was running and she had to wipe it with her free arm. Each of the thousand pieces of her heart was bleeding. She just wanted to curl up and hold onto Elsa and hear her older sister tell her it'd be okay. Elsa understood the crying and she spoke on the other end of the phone. "Anna, just stay there, I remember where you said you are eating, I'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?"

Anna's voice came out almost nonexistent, impossibly feeble. "O-ok-kay." Heavy sobs overtook her and she leaned against the restaurant's wall.

"Do you want me to stay on the line with you?" Elsa's voice was like a safe haven, nothing could hurt Anna as long as it was there.

"Y-yes."

"Okay, I'll stay on. I'm leaving the house now."

For the next twelve minutes, Elsa spoke softly into the phone, assuring Anna it would be okay. She didn't know exactly what happened but she had a hunch. 'Elsa is such an amazing sister.' Her voice helped Anna calm down a little bit, and the girl managed to stop crying, though a large lump was still ringing her neck.

Finally, Elsa pulled up to the entrance of the restaurant and waved a small wave at Anna. The red head raced over to her sister's car and pulled the door to get in. She sat down and no later dove at Elsa, holding her sister in a tight embrace. The platinum blonde hugged her back, melting all of Anna's unease away, making her feel like someone cared for her. The feeling of her older sister's body against her own was warm and cheery, and she couldn't find happiness anywhere else right now. Elsa pulled away from the hug and looked Anna in the eyes. Her eyes looked more like a deep blue in the dark and she spoke softly enough to tame a cobra, "it'll be okay, Anna. I'm right here for you." Anna couldn't help but smile, even though tears were still spilling from her eyes.

The drive home was silent. Elsa had her right hand on Anna's shoulder, slowly rubbing circles on it, and for some reason this motion eased the red head's insides. It worked so well that when they got back she barely had to try to get out of the car. She could walk again and her heart was beginning to piece itself back together. The two girls walked in the house, Elsa's hand placed tenderly on the back of Anna's shoulder. Once inside they made their way up to Elsa's room, where they had spent so many hours. Anna was sure that Elsa would plop down and continue playing whatever game she had been playing and her heart began to drop. Then, to Anna's surprise and great joy Elsa sat down on the bed and motioned her Anna to sit right next to her. 'Why did I doubt her?' The red head's heart felt a little bit better, but a heavy wrench was still churning inside of her.

The younger girl crossed over to her older sister's bed and sat herself down so that their shoulders were touching. Elsa turned to face Anna and took her younger sister's hands in her own. The act combined with the touch sent a warm fuzz through Anna's arms, and it bounced around her body. Elsa's eyes were a lighter, softer blue in the light of her room, and Anna got a little bit lost in them, that is, until Elsa spoke. "What happened?"

Two simple words, but spoken with such great care, such great fondness and sincerity. Those two words being spoken from Elsa showed Anna that her older sister did care, that she was there for her. The thought almost melted the younger girl's heart. Taking a deep breath, Anna spoke the best she could around the lump that was forming in her throat at the recent memory. She felt her eyes start to burn as she recounted the event. "H-Hans s-said he was not only c-cheating on me, b-but that no one wants or n-need m-m-m" Anna began to cry, tears once again traversing her face and mucus running from her nose.

Elsa quickly pulled Anna tight, Allowing her younger sister to cry into the crook of her neck and patting her lightly on the back. "Hey, Anna, that's not true." She paused and heard a sniffle caress her ear. "I need you. I want you." Elsa pulled back to look her sister in the eyes, a little startled at what her own mouth had just spewed out. Anna chuckled nervously a little bit at her sister's awkward wording. She quickly corrected "tt-hat came out w-wrong. What I mean, Anna, is that I love you. Unconditionally. I will always be here for you, and I will always need and want you in my life."

That was it. The first time Elsa had ever really let Anna see inside the defenses that were her mind for a long time. All the times Anna had told her older sister she loved her, Elsa had only smiled in return. That was her way of showing affection, smiling, or some action, not talking. Elsa wasn't good with words, but right now she was. Now Anna knew for sure, Elsa really did care. Everything felt different now. This means that Elsa was opening further up, and Anna being the closest person to Elsa, knew that this was new ground for her older sister. Right then is when Anna went unsure of her feelings for Elsa to one hundred fifty percent sure about them. When her mind clicked, when her heart jumped and never came back down. But does Elsa care for her in that way? Is Anna just a sister to her? A sister is all Anna needed right then, so she didn't let the thought bother her.

Instead, she buried her face back into Elsa's neck and wrapped her arms tight around her sister. She was nowhere near done crying yet, but she was getting there, all thanks to Elsa. "Thank you, Elsa. I love you too." There was no audible response, but rather a tightening of their embrace. Anna let idle tears wander her face until they found the skin of Elsa's neck. Her stomach still was twisting, but her heart was slowly healing itself with the help of the words Elsa had thrown at her. Anna knew she would be okay as long as Elsa was with her.  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"And that was when you were sure of your feelings for Elsa?" Bulda's voice startled Anna a little bit. She had forgotten she was ranting to a counselor.

Fresh tears staining her face, Anna looked up at the woman. "Yeah." She wiped her nose. "It really feels good to get this off my chest."

Bulda smiled warmly at Anna. "Talking always helps. Unfortunately, our time has run out for today." Her voice was sympathetic.

Anna looked down at the ground. 'Oh yeah, time limits.' "Yeah... I still am scared to you know..." she let herself trail off.

"Tell Elsa?"

"Yeah."

Bulda looked at her and said "have you come to terms with your feelings?"

Smiling a true smile Anna looked up and said "yeah. Yeah I have." There was great triumph in her voice, like she had just single handedly won a war. Well she kind of had, an internal war. She was more at peace with her feelings after recounting the story to someone.

"Would you like to come back and talk again next week? I can help you build up courage to tell Elsa how you feel, or even offer support if something happens." Bulda didn't want to say if Elsa rejected Anna, but the red head understood, heart sinking a little at the thought.

"I would like that. Same time?" Anna's voice was melodic now.

"Yes, same time, same place a week from now." Bulda said, smiling at Anna.

"Okay, I'll talk to you then." Anna felt herself grin. She was relieved to have someone to support her. Walking into the place she was sure that any counselor would judge her and try to talk her out of her feelings, but Bulda was refreshingly understanding. It made Anna feel fuzzy inside.

Getting up to walk out, Anna felt like she was in a dream, warmth coursing through her body. She looked down to check her phone, and there was a text from Elsa. It read "I'll be parked in the front of the building. Take your time, sis."

Smiling at her phone, Anna typed up a reply "Just finished up, I'll be down in a couple minutes." She returned her phone to her pocket. 'Elsa really is an amazing sister. She agreed to drive me to and from counseling and never asked what it was about.' With a higher heart, Anna almost skipped down the hallway.

Walking, well more like jumping, out of the door into the sunlight, Anna was blinded momentarily. She quickly adjusted and spotted Elsa's white Accord. The older girl smiled and waved at her younger sister. Anna ran over to the car and hopped in, eyes still aching a little from the new light.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Elsa was smiling a big, goofy smile. 'She looks adorable with that smile!'

"It was amazing. I feel like a feather now." Anna exclaimed, an equally dumb grin on her face.

"Good, am I driving you back next week?"

Anna looked at her sister and said, a little less excited, "If you don't want you to you don't have to."

Elsa looked at Anna, her eyes were a light blue in the sunlight. "Of course I want to, silly!" This made Anna feel better and she went back to being high as a kite. She was bouncing a bit in her seat when Elsa held out her hand, in it was a Hershey's chocolate bar. "I got this, I figured no matter the outcome of your first session chocolate would be a good way to end it."

Anna couldn't help but let her eyes light up. 'You are perfect, Elsa!' "Thank you!" she squealed, already attacking the chocolate bar.

"Now, back to playing video games." Elsa was poking mild fun at Anna for not playing any. That felt a little backwards, usually Anna would be poking fun at Elsa for playing them all the time. 'Poking fun, she is opening up even more.'

"And for me, back to watching you play." Anna gave Elsa a playful push on the shoulder. The older girl turned and grinned at her sister as they drove back home.


	2. First Day of High School

**This chapter takes place on Anna's first day of freshmen year in high school, nine months before chapter 1.**

 

"Come on, come on! Elsa, we're gonna be late!" Anna's overly excited voice was easily penetrating Elsa's door and ears, rousing her from a rather deep sleep.

The older girl feebly attempted to open her eyes but could not, they were weighed down with the sleep she had just been so rudely taken from. Summoning all of her energy, Elsa called back with a heavy drawl, "can't I just not go?" The girl's eyes started to once again relax, her body slipping away into oblivion, exhausted from the energy it took to talk.

"No! We need to go to the first day of school together!" Unfortunately, Anna sounded quite determined and Elsa could almost feel her playful scowl through the door.

Lifting her own head was futile pursuit, and Elsa quickly gave in to the pillows around her. ' _Who invented waking up?'_ Lifting her arm, which felt like it was pinned down by a boulder, Elsa very carefully and gently used it to pick her head up.

SMACK!

"Ouch!" Elsa's arm had fallen limp on her face, connecting with a slap to her cheek. ' _Well at least that opened up my eyes.'_ Continuing her epic struggle against the clutches of comfort and sleep, Elsa eventually managed to sit up. ' _I might as well have just risen from the dead. What time is it?'_ Attempting to focus her blurry vision, the girl looked over at her phone and woke it up. ' _7:33. Ugh, school starts in thirty minutes.'_ Her eye lids started feeling heavy once again, closing no matter how hard she fought it. ' _Oh no you don't'_ and she rolled off the bed, slamming on the floor with a loud crash. "Okay, maybe not such a good idea." the older girl muttered to herself. Her hip had landed first, sending a shock through her backbone, and now it was complaining with a dull ache. Tentatively taking her slender fingers, Elsa pushed lightly on the obtrusive spot on her hip and felt a sharp pain burrow its way through her. ' _Okay, don't touch it.'_

After hearing a loud crash from her older sister's room, Anna gasped and yelled "Elsa! What happened? Are you okay?" The red head was about to give up and assume her older sister didn't hear, but just before she could break the door down she heard a sleepy voice call back to her.

"Yeah," **yawn,** "I just fell off the bed."

Anna relaxed her body slightly, still that thud sounded painful. _Elsa has interesting ways to get up.._ "Okay," the younger girl said back, dragging the word out in confusion.

"I'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes." Elsa sounded like she was about to fall back to sleep. ' _If she isn't there in exactly fifteen minutes I'm gonna barge in to her room and drag her out.'_ Anna's stomach growled violently, like something was eating her from the inside out, and at that she decided breakfast would be an excellent idea. Excitement coursing through her veins like a drug, Anna marched downstairs to find some cereal.

Every muscle in Elsa's body complained as she tried to stand up from the floor, groaning for her to give up and lay back down. ' _I can't, I have to get ready.'_ Fighting the dull aches of her tired body, the girl stoop up and stumbled toward the door, grabbing a plain gray t-shirt and blue genes along the way. She didn't really care what bra and panties she wore, so she took a random pair and hobbled towards the bathroom, legs still threatening to drop her at any second.

Arriving at the bathroom, she closed and locked the door behind her. ' _Okay, I don't really have time to do my hair or take a real shower, so we'll see how this goes.'_ The girl went and turned on the water, letting it run so it could warm up while she brushed her teeth. A dull pain traversed Elsa's mouth as she brushed on a specific point on her gums. ' _I must have missed that spot last time or something.'_ The platinum blonde finished brushing her teeth and spat into the sink, rinsing her mouth with the running water. She smiled into the mirror, revealing very white, well kept teeth. _Good, your teeth are still white, that and your skin. Why am I so pale? Is that why no one talks to me?'_ Elsa's heart was jabbed by a rapier as she realized Anna was going to have to be seen with her, the girl who never talked. Elsa knew that her impressive, moon like, milky skin wasn't why people didn't talk to her. She knew exactly why they didn't. ' _I'm a freak.'_ Elsa felt her stomach tense, the rapier twisted a little in her heart, opening a gaping whole in it. ' _I want to talk to people. I want friends. I wish I was brave enough, and what if it comes back? I don't want people to make fun of Anna because she's with me at school.'_ Elsa felt an emptiness inside, her throat swelling as her eyes began to release gentle tears. The thought of Anna's feelings being hurt was too much. ' _I'm not even used to the insults, what will she do?'_

Shoulders slumped and head down, Elsa stripped . “ _The girl who never talks. 'I wonder if she is dumb?' 'She probably doesn't know how to talk.'”_ These were just the beginning of what people said about Elsa, but she didn't understand. If she was asked a question in class she would give a short, sufficient answer, that should prove she can talk. ' _But it's always only one word, because if I talk more...'_ She didn't want to think about it.

Warm, unfriendly tears were running down Elsa's lowered face as she stepped in to the shower, neglecting to check the temperature with her hand. Suddenly, a thousand icicles were stabbing her, freezing her to the core. The water hadn't warmed up at all, it was like bathing in ice, yanking the girl out of her thoughts of self pity, loathing, and most of all, fear for Anna. Startled by the abrupt cold, Elsa jumped back, slamming against the wall and almost falling. The cool tiles chilled her back, and in combination with the freezing water, she felt like she was frozen in ice. The blonde gave up on showering and stepped out, doing her best to stay out of the water as she reached to turn it off. ' _Well, I'm actually awake now.'_

Anna had decided that trying to find any cereal in the house was a futile search and decided that a pack of chocolate Poptarts would do. ' _Oh well,'_ she thought sarcastically to herself. Poptarts were one of those things that Anna couldn't get enough of, though the other flavors she didn't particularly like, the chocolate ones were perfect. She placed them in the toaster, her entire body tingling and shaking with excitement. ' _Not only do I get to start high school, but I get Poptarts on my first day!'_ Giddy, Anna heard the ding of the toaster ring through her ears, signifying her treat was ready for her. The red head reached over and grabbed the pastries without thinking, and a burn surged through her fingers. Pulling back in alarm, Anna dropped one of the Poptarts on the ground, its delicious chocolate inside breaking out and oozing onto the floor. Thankfully, the second one decided to land flat on the counter, staying mostly in tact. With red fingers Anna went over and ran her hand under cool water. The sensation of the water rolling across her skin and gently chasing away the stinging burn she acquired soothed her, calming even her excitement to a dull roar.

Once the sink had done it's job, Anna picked the pastry on the floor up, this time with a paper towel, and tossed it in the trash. She used the same paper towel to wipe away the oozing filling that inhabited the floor and threw it away as well. Going for her remaining treat, the red head picked it up, carefully this time, testing its temperature. To her relief it was still warm, but not too hot. The girl bit into the Poptart, and an explosion of flavor coursed around her mouth. The sweet chocolate seeped into her tongue, dancing with her taste buds eternally. She closed her eyes and rolled them back in ecstasy, enjoying each and every bite of her breakfast. A quiet moan escaped her mouth as Anna finished her food, and her cheeks warmed up in embarrassment of her intense chocolaty moment. ' _Man I'm good that doing embarrassing things, no one is here and I'm embarrassed.'_ She giggled to herself.

Elsa was walking down the stairs just in time to hear Anna moan softly. ' _What is she doing down there?'_ The girl's heart beat a little faster as some interesting possibilities crossed her mind. She smiled to herself and continued on, secretly hoping it was one of her more erotic ideas. ' _What am I even thinking of? She is my sister. Remember what dad says.'_ Elsa arrived at the kitchen just in time to see Anna licking the last bits of a Poptart of her fingers. ' _I should have known, chocolate.'_ "Hey." Elsa was surprised at how pathetic her own voice was.

"Hey Elsa! I was just about to come drag you down!" Anna turned around to face her older sister. "How to I look for my first day of high school?"

Elsa's heart began to pound, her knees started to shake. ' _Tell her something sisterly, you look beautiful, amazing, perfect. She really does. In every way.'_ The older girl had not been expecting her little sister to dress up for the first day of school, but as always, Anna shattered expectations with a heavy hammer. She was wearing a summer dress that had a black mid section and dark green leaf designs laced in. A green strap about the width of a hand gently held on to the girl's shoulders, leaving her toned arms completely exposed. The lower part was a lighter green, and came down to her ankles, but looked ventilated enough for summer. The dress brought out Anna's eyes, making them go from a teal color to almost a rich green. Her freckles were visible on her upper chest, though no cleavage was shown, and they traced all the way down her arms and across her cheeks. Anna's hair was in twin pigtails, something the older girl always found cute, and with the sunlight bouncing off them like that it was almost too much. Anna was simply on fire. Elsa was nervous, her mouth began to feel dry. She was at a loss of words, Anna was simply beautiful. A constant thudding in her head, Elsa tried to talk, "I- You look, b- gre- y-you look g-good." ' _Good!? That's all you can say!? She looks perfect, Aphrodite would be jealous!'_ The platinum blonde heaved her chest, her breathing becoming a little shallow.

Thankfully, Anna seemed happy with Elsa's mediocre display of affection and smiled a bright smile stretching from ear to ear. "Thanks Elsa! I don't know how you do it, but you always look amazing, when you just throw a random shirt on."

Elsa blushed, feeling her face grow hot. ' _I'm hideous compared to you. My hair is in a bun because I didn't have time to braid it like I normally like it.'_ Nonetheless, Anna's compliment meant a lot to Elsa, and she felt at ease for a moment. A rare moment for her, and only ever brought about by Anna. ' _But remember what father says, conceal, don't feel. Don't speak.'_ A pang shot through Elsa's heart, singing it like a ship. She wanted to much to be able to be happy, but her father was right. She was a screw up and disgusting. ' _She can't be seen with me.'_ Shoulder's slumped, Elsa mumbled to Anna, grabbing her keys. "Let's go."

Confused by her older sister's sudden drop in mood, Anna cocked her eyebrow but didn't press the matter. Elsa wasn't one to open up, she never did. But she was always there when Anna needed her, and always listened, no matter what. And that, coming from Elsa, was a lot. Caught between bouncing excitement and crippling confusion, Anna followed her sister to the car.

The ride to school was silent, no radio, no nothing. Well, for most of the way it was. Out of the blue, Elsa spoke. Her voice was uneven. "Anna.." The red head looked at her sister, Elsa glanced over to make sure she had attention. The blue of her eyes was extra wet, and Anna could see small tears forming at the base of Elsa's eyes. The younger girl's heart split. ' _Oh no, why is she crying? What is she gonna say?'_ With an uneasy stomach, Anna listened as Elsa continued. "You can't be s-seen with me a-at s-school." The words smacked the red head across the face, leaving a sore burning in her eyes, she began to cry. It didn't exactly sound like Elsa wanted to say that, but she did, and it hurt. It hurt like an arrow piercing her heart, it hurt like a blow to the gut, it broke something inside of Anna. ' _Why?Does she hate me?'_

Anna's voice raised but was raspy around her impending tears, "Why? Why not? What's wrong with me?" She held her hands to her eyes to wipe away water droplets jumping to their death. Her stomach was knotted a thousand different ways.

"N-n-nothing's w-wrong with y-y-you." Elsa was crying too, now. There was clear pain in her voice, ' _she really didn't want to have to say that? Why did she then?'_

"Then why would you push me away like that? Like you always do! What did I ever do to you?!" Anna was yelling now, and didn't think before she talked. An instant spike of remorse settled through the younger girl, she breathing became rapid and uneven. ' _Oh my god, how much did I just hurt her?'_ It was clearly a lot. Elsa was visibly shaken at the words, slamming the brakes as they abruptly pulled into a spot. ' _I hit a nerve too hard this time_.' Elsa began to let out loud sobs, tears and mucus covering her face. Saliva began to drip from her mouth as she got out of the car and started running. Anna sat there, unable to move, hating herself for saying that. ' _She has a hard time opening up, and what did you do? You forced to her close all her doors again.'_ She berated herself for her stupidity. The red head wasn't even sure if she was still alive, she felt no pulse, no pangs, no nothing. Except remorse.

As Elsa was turning from the car to run, Anna could swear she heard the voice of someone that had been broken one too many times say "I-I n-never wanted t-to p-push y-y-you aaway." But when she looked up, Elsa was already gone.

Emptiness was all Anna felt all day. she looked for Elsa everywhere, but to no avail. She would hope to see Elsa around every turn, only to have her hopes crush like an ant under a boot. The knowledge that her emptiness could only be cured by apologizing to Elsa and hearing her sister say she forgives her hung like a boulder on a frayed rope over her head all day. With every step she took, it threatened to crush her, every breath broke on more fiber. The day couldn't go by fast enough, it felt like an eternity. ' _How am I going to live through this?'_

At lunch, Anna sat down and played with her food. She knew she needed to eat, but her stomach was violently rebelling, yelling for the food to stay away. Anxiety was taking its hold on her and she couldn't stomach anything but water. Even then, no matter how much water she drank her throat felt dry and lumpy. The two halves of her heart pumped blood through her body with great difficulty, resulting in a constant throbbing in her head.

Noticing Anna's uncharacteristic silence, her old friend Rapunzel asked "Anna, what's wrong? You're clearly upset." She put her hand on Anna's shoulder, which helped comfort the red head a little bit. ' _At least I didn't screw up one of my closest friendships.'_ Suddenly, Anna could feel her eyes grow misty, her nose begin to run. The entire day she had been too far gone to even cry, but now she could only let it out. As quietly as she could, Anna began sobbing, and it was still rather loud. ' _Great, I'm making a fool of myself on my first day.'_

The red head turned and faced her friend, who was looking at her with deep concern in her eyes. She began to talk, which came out more like a choking noise. "I-I hurt Elsa's f-feelings really bad." She paused to take a deep breath and wipe snot from her nose, "I went t-to f-far because I w-was m-mad." She felt arms wrap around her as she closed her eyes, allowing the agony of her mistake take full control of her.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Elsa will forgive you. Sisters forgive, they are inseparable." Even though Rapunzel didn't really know Anna's older sister, she spoke from her heart. She knew it would be okay, it had to be, Anna needed it to be.

Anna sat there, crying into her friend's neck while Rapunzel patted her back, gently whispering assurances into her ear. The breath tickled her ear and ran down the back of her neck. Nothing seemed to help until Anna started pretending that instead of Rapunzel comforting her it was Elsa. Now the brunette's soft voice, replaced with Elsa's, was like a life raft in the stormy ocean Anna was drowning in, giving her something to hold on to. The arms around the red head became the sun, breaking the dark, cloudy sky slowly but surely, bring the wind and torrential rain to an end. She grabbed the raft and it pulled her up, she could breath. Anna's heavy cries subsided to much softer sobs, tears drying and cracking on her face. "Thank you" she breathed.

By the end of the lunch period, Anna had regained herself and could think a little bit, but anxiety was still strangling her. Rapunzel still sat with her, trying to distract the girl by talking about this guy Flynn she was in to. Anna pulled off a fake smile here and there, but she couldn't pay attention, all of her mind was on Elsa. ' _Is Elsa gonna wait to drive me home? Will she ever open back up?'_ Thousands of thoughts were swirling through Anna's mind, all of which were feeding that razor sharp monster of anxiety thriving inside of her. So lost in her own thoughts, Anna didn't even notice the bell ring until Rapunzel grabbed her arm and said "hey, it's time to go to class. The sooner you get that over with, the sooner you can talk to Elsa." The mention of Elsa snapped Anna back to reality and she picked up her books and headed for class, not bothering to stop at her locker.

For the remainder of the school day, Anna let her mind wander, thinking about what she would say to Elsa and how Elsa would most likely respond. ' _I'm sorry, I know I pushed too far, I shouldn't have said that. But she always has pushed me away. Sure more recently I've been getting closer to her, but what about all that time she wouldn't even let me in her room?'_ Anna felt a sharp jab in her heart as she thought about those times, how she thought Elsa hated her. How much it hurt when her older sister would tell her to go away, all those hours in front of Elsa's door, asking what went wrong, never to get an answer. ' _She was starting to open up to you, and you turned around and threw that all back at her. She clearly regrets it, why would you hurt her?'_

By the end of the day, anxiety once again had a strangle hold on Anna. She could barely breath, let alone pay attention to anything around her. ' _What if she doesn't wait for me? What if she hates me forever?'_ The last few minutes of Anna's last class felt like hours as she watched the clock tick. The only times she had paid any attention all day were when the teachers would call on her to introduce herself. Begrudgingly, the red head would stand up and quietly state her name and sit back down, losing herself in her thoughts once again. Even as Anna watched the second hand tick she felt fear rising like a tide through her body, coursing through her veins and stalling time. The girl's hands started to become clammy as the minute hand neared the end of the last hour. Heart beats thudded like hammers on her skull, rendering her ears useless, she could not hear anything, only fear the worst.

And then a slight ringing snaked through Anna's ear. At first she thought it was her mind playing tricks on her. After all, it had been way overburdened today, but when she saw everyone else getting up to leave she realized it was the bell. ' _The bell, I have to go, I have to get to Elsa's car now!'_ Rushing to collect her already packed things, Anna ran out of her seat, tunnel visioned on the door. She didn't even hear the other students' remarks as she pushed past them, bolting through the door and down the hallway towards the parking lot. Each step was only driven by the need to apologize to Elsa. ' _What if she never opens up to me again? What if she hates me forever?'_ Anna couldn't clear her mind of these intrusions and her eyes began to heat up and mist.

Heart pounding and lungs strained for air, Anna arrived at Elsa's car to find no one there. ' _I must have beaten her here, I did run after all.'_ She sat down on the hood of the white car, the metal sending a pleasant heat through her rear. Looking down at her legs, Anna began to feel her heart race. She couldn't stand the wait any longer, she needed to talk to Elsa now.

As if on queue, Anna heard her older sister's voice. It was calm, and unexpectedly, it didn't sound angry. "Hey.

Bewildered, the red head looked up at her platinum blonde sister, "Hey- Hey me?"

Elsa simply nodded, a small smile on her lips.

"Oh, uh, hi." Anna began fiddling with her hair. ' _Maybe now isn't the best time to bring it up, she seems happy, I don't want to upset her.'_

"I'm sorry about earlier," Elsa's voice was lower and serious now. ' _What! No, I'm the sorry one!'_ "I over reacted." The older girl left it at that and went for the driver's seat of the car, pulling her keys out of her pocket as she walked.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, it was out of line." Anna was surprised at how calm her own voice came out. "I know I hurt you, I don't want to do it again."

Elsa looked up at her sister, the smile had faded from her face. "No, no. It's fine, really."

Anna decided it would probably be best not to press the subject for now. ' _A later time, then.'_ She got off of the hood and whirled around to the passenger's door, yanking it open, and climbed in. As Anna plopped down, the older girl started the car and pulled out of the space, her attention behind the car to avoid hitting any people strolling by. Anna's heart sank as she tossed around the idea of asking one more question. She didn't want to, but she felt like she needed the answer to calm herself down. Fighting a war of wits with her own mind, Anna began fidgeting in her seat, pulling her own hair and twirling the amber locks in her fingers.

Elsa noticed her sister's unease and thanked God she wasn't that see through. She may have remained calm on the outside when she had shown up at the car, but there was lava boiling every inch of her insides the entire time. The pain of locking Anna out, of obeying her father. ' _I want to tell Anna what he did. I want to explain to her, but I can't.'_ Elsa was struggling to keep her focus on the road, she was in peril. On the outside she appeared calm still, but on the inside she was shaking like an earthquake. Her heart was about to burst out of her chest, each beat sending a wave of dull regret and pain through her. A knotted stomach threatened to eat itself, burning her from the inside out. Gripping the steering wheel too tightly, Elsa continued driving in silence, wanting to break the silence but not knowing how. ' _If only Anna could know everything and still be the one friend I have. Still be the one person that truly cares for me.'_

Just then, the silence was broken by her younger sister. A weak, scared voice rang through Elsa's ears, "why did you shut me out?"

Ouch. A red hot dagger twisted somewhere in Elsa, almost making her double over in pain. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute, every one screaming to be released, to explain to Anna. But that couldn't happen. No, never. In a barely audible rasp Elsa replied, "w-we'll t-talk at h-h-home." The platinum blonde looked over at her sister, the younger girl's hair shined like a raging fire in the sunlight of the windows, mirroring how Elsa felt on the inside. Anna just gave a solemn nod.

Parking the car on the driveway, Elsa unsteadily unbuckled herself and got out of the car. Her knees could barely hold her up. Anxiety was taking its toll on her mind as she thought about what she was going to say. ' _Are you going to tell her? Can you tell her? You'd better not, it'll make her hate you.'_ Not to mention what her father would do. Fear weaseled its way into Elsa's veins, entrapping her in a cocoon closing on both sides, an vault she would never escape. ' _Tell her, tell her, tell her'_ was all Elsa could hear, but logic silently bode her otherwise.

"I-I have to u-use the b-bathroom." Elsa could barely talk, she was sure it didn't even come out until she heard Anna chirp an okay and walk over to her. The red head pulled Elsa into a hug, tightly wrapping her arms around the older girl's mid back. The contact warmed Elsa and melted a fortress of ice cold fear that had built up around her. Her nerves relaxed, allowing her tense muscles to give themselves a break, and she fell into the hug. Soft tears tickled Elsa's cheeks as they rolled down her face. Anna was so warm, so forgiving, so happy. _'What if I take that away?'_

A warm breath of whisper licked Elsa's ear, sending shivers down her spine. "I love you Elsa, and I always will, no matter what. You can tell me anything." Elsa's skin crawled. The words melted her heart and churned her stomach. ' _If only you knew what I was hiding, Anna.'_ Elsa buried her face in Anna's neck, taking in the contact, as it may be the last time it ever happens. Ever so softly she began to cry. The red head pulled away from the embrace, looking at Elsa in the eyes for a moment, her own eyes were a light teal with the lighting, complimented perfectly by her dress. ' _She is still so beautiful.'_ "I'll meet you in your room. It'll be okay, Elsa." Anna reassured her.

Elsa simply nodded in response and her younger sister turned and ran up the stairs, her dress trailing behind her feet.

"Elsa, a word. Now." A stern man's voice cracked a whip in the platinum blond's ears. She looked over to see her father, dread setting into every fiber of her being.

"Y-yes s-s-sir." Elsa lowered her head and moved slowly towards the man, almost collapsing in fear of what would happen. ' _Did he just see us?'_

Crossing the living room, Elsa went into a room further from the rest of the house: her father's office. ' _This is where I said it, where my life changed. For the worse.'_ She tentatively crossed the threshold and felt a chill run down her spine as the door clicked shut. In a low, stern voice her father began, "Don't mess up, Elsa. Remember, conceal, don't feel. Don't act."

In a sorry excuse for a voice, Elsa tried to reply to her father. "Y-y-yes f-f-father." The words came painfully slow, and Elsa could feel her father getting angrier at her. She could feel the room heating up from the steam blowing from his ears, the lighting grow red with his face.

"Keep it under control, you are defected child, and you know why." His voice hurt, it crushed her, it squished her heart and tore it out every time he said that. Every time he looked at her. Every thing Elsa's father did destroyed her on the inside, she needed someone to talk to. But she didn't have anyone, she had no friends, her mother would certainly side with her father, and Anna. She couldn't make her beloved sister deal with this, and once Anna knew why their father hated Elsa, she would also hate her. Tears rolled down Elsa's cheek, burning her face as they went. Nothing would ever save her from this, she would forever be drowning in choppy water, only to eventually be swallowed by the dark depths below her. "Now leave."

Elsa turned and ran out of the room, eyes covered. She bounded up the stairs to her own quarters, where she could cry in peace. Where there wouldn't be a monster waiting to break her beyond repair.

Swinging her door open, Elsa rushed, slammed the door behind her and jumped onto her bed to cry into a pillow. Loud yells of agony escaped her throat and she was choking on the lump that had formed in her esophagus. Mucus, tears and saliva covering her pillow, Elsa let it all out. Then, a warm pair of hands placed themselves tenderly on her shoulder blades. ' _Anna! I forgot she was waiting in here, oh God!'_ "A-Anna, I-I-I-I" Elsa couldn't form her words, she was too scared to.

"It's okay, Elsa, you can cry. Everybody has to at some point." Anna pulled her sister up, locking her in an embrace, Allowing the platinum blond to place her own head in the crook of the red head's neck. She felt tears amongst other fluids leak onto her shoulder, but she didn't care, it was more important that Elsa was okay. She looked completely broken, like no hope was left in her, like she was about to give in to the tides. ' _Elsa, what is it?'_ Anna wanted so desperately to ask, but Elsa had said they'd talk, and she clearly needed time. So, the red head pulled her sister into a tighter embrace, feeling Elsa's heaving chest on her own. The loud moans of mental agony rang in Anna's ears. Elsa was going to be okay, she had to be.

Anna began to feel her own eyes become misty and her own heart become heavy. The pain of seeing her older sister in such a dark place brought Anna down too, pulling her under like a shark. ' _What could have happened? I heard dad tell her they needed to talk. What did he say?'_ Suddenly, Anna felt a pang of anger at her father. ' _If he hurt her I'm gonna... Wait what am I thinking? I don't even know if he did anything or if it was all me.'_ The brief rage subsided and Anna felt her nails release from her palms, leaving marks where she dug them in just a second ago. Replacing the anger was a dry lump in her throat and more fresh tears traversing her cheeks. Her heart split in two, each half falling away into nothingness, leaving a gaping whole where it should be. ' _I did this.'_ Anna could no longer breath, her lungs filled with guilt, choking her to oblivion. Burying her head in the crook of Elsa's neck, Anna let everything out, all the guilt of hurting Elsa, all her own hurt at being locked out, and all of the confusion built up in her over the years.

The sisters stayed there until neither one had any tears left. They had cried their souls out, left with a shell of themselves, an infinite emptiness. Anna was the first to speak, in a weak, raspy voice dripping with caution. "Y-you said we'd talk." She pulled away and looked at Elsa, her eyes were red and puffy and her face a mess of fluids. What little color was in the older girl's face left and she looked like a deer in headlights. ' _She is scared. Give her time to respond.'_ And Anna did just that, she sat there, waiting, and took Elsa's hands in her own. She could feel her own eyes stinging from the crying, and reveled in the soft, slender hands in hers. The touch was enough to rejuvenate just a little hope in Anna, hope that things would be okay and Elsa would open up to her, never locking her out again. A dream she had been having for years.

After several minutes, Elsa exhaled, dropping her eyes to the ground and slumping her shoulders. The older girl closed her eyes to breathe and Anna could tell she was about to talk. Knowing how difficult this must be fore Elsa, the red head gave her sister's had a small squeeze of assurance, a small return on the hope Elsa had given her. Then, without looking up, eyes still closed, Elsa began to speak. The words came quietly and slowly, but Anna was patient, "Y-y-yeah. I-I need to t-t-tell y-you s-s-something." Elsa raised her eyes to look at her younger sister's. The icy blue was dried up and cracking with red around it, the rich ocean of color gone. In its place was a wasteland, a desert devoid of any life.

Seeing fear in Elsa, Anna spoke as gently as she could, "You can tell me anything, Elsa" and gave her older sister another hand squeeze, smiling warmly at her.

Once again looking down, shame dripping off of her features, Elsa took a long, deep breath. She closed her eyes as she exhaled and Anna could almost feel her struggle, hear her thoughts screaming a thousand different things at her. ' _She is at least trying to, even if she doesn't manage to say it, she clearly wants to.'_ Elsa's voice was almost inaudible. "I-I-I ha-h-have a," Elsa took another breath, gathering courage to go on. Anna's heart pumped, she was so focused on her sister that time slowed down, everything else went silent. Knots turned and retied themselves in her stomach. "st-s-s-st-s.." The words wouldn't come out. But Anna knew what Elsa was trying to say. ' _I'll save her the trouble_.'

Elsa's heart was pounding like a cinder block banging her chest and a boxer hitting her head. A knife was cutting open her stomach, spilling its contents all over her insides, the acid eating away everything leaving only agony. She was trying to speak but her tongue had been cut off, leaving only one syllable mumbles in its wake. ' _It's back, and I can't even tell Anna. It won't let me.'_ Elsa struggled with the word for what seemed like an eternity, an eternity of false hope and crushing emptiness at failing the one thing she wanted to do right now. Tell her sister. Then, Anna's voice created a spot of light, illuminating Elsa's surroundings, bringing her a new hope.

"Stutter." Her sister's voice was soft and non judgmental. ' _Yes. Yes. Yes!'_ Elsa raised her head to look at Anna. The red head's eyes were glistening with baby tears melting their way out. The teal of her irises was pronounced this close. Elsa simply nodded, not wanting to fight the battle of talking just yet. Her heart was calming down, but she was still lost. ' _If only I could tell you the real problem.'_ Of course it felt like a lead weight lifted off her shoulders for Elsa to have told Anna bout her stutter, but there was a bigger problem. One she knew Anna would never forgive her for. The one her father hated her for. The reason she is a misfit, a failure. And not being able to tell anyone was slowly sinking her raft, drowning her in water made of a thousand ice cold knives. "How long?" Anna's voice was, as always, gentle.

A deep breath calmed Elsa slightly, she saw lights on her eyelids as she tightly closed her eyes, racking her brain for the first memory of her stutter. There was no first, it was all jumbled. She prepared for an up hill struggle to talk. "A-as l-l-long as I c-c-can r-rememb-er. B-b-but n-no-n-now it o-only h-h-happens w-w-when I-I." Elsa had to stop to collect herself. ' _You can do this, you can do this.'_ "A-am s-s-scared or n-ner-nervous."

"May I ask a couple questions?" Anna's voice was thin and careful, like she was walking on fragile ice, cracks forming under her feet. "You can just nod or shake your head if you like." Elsa looked at Anna and nodded her head slowly, heart pounding in fear of the judgments Anna would soon be spouting at her. ' _Why are you so dumb? That's a dumb reason to lock someone out.'_ Elsa's heart dropped. "Is that why you rarely talk with people?" ' _Partially.'_ Elsa slowly nodded her head, insides caught in a winter storm. "Is," Anna choked down a lump in her throat, "Is that why you locked me out?" The question sent a spear through Elsa's heart, smashing into mush. She choked on her own sorrow, once again grabbing at nothing in the storm. ' _No.'_ Elsa nodded her head yes. Terror filling the emptiness that was her heart, the older girl looked up at her sister, expecting a snarling face of hate. What she got was the opposite.

Anna was smiling, a smile that tamed the winds of Elsa's mind, giving room to breath. Tears flowed from the red head's eyes, not of sadness or remorse, but of happiness. Elsa was confused, how could she be happy about this? "Y-your'e not m-m-mad-d?"

Looking Elsa in the eyes sincerely, Anna replied by embracing her sister in a tight hug, melting Elsa's spine and warming her heart to a working temperature. Anna breathed into Elsa's ear, "of course not, I'm proud of you for opening up. I'm happy because I'm that much closer to you. I told you, I could never hate you, Elsa, I love you, and I wouldn't trade you for any other sister." Anna paused to let the words sink in. They did make Elsa feel better, but another part of her felt worse. She had lied by omission, she was letting Anna believe she had told the whole truth. Elsa knew she would have to be alone forever in her secret, in what she was. But at least Anna had forgiven her for all the times Elsa had pushed her away. All those terrible times that Elsa destroyed a part of her soul so Anna wouldn't have to see it. All those times that put together, had emptied Elsa of anything but loneliness. "I'll always be here for you." Anna's whisper licked Elsa's ear, giving her goosebumps around her neck. ' _Oh, Anna, if only you knew the worst part.'_

Anna quickly pulled away from their embrace, alarm strewn across her face. She yelled out "What!? What worse part!?" ' _I said that out loud!? How dumb can I be!? I am a degenerate, good for nothing waste of space, my father is right.'_ Panic was overtaking Elsa, her hands were sweaty, her breathing became rapid and uneven. A hand was tightening around her heart, constricting it while her temples throbbed and stomach churned in every which way. Before she knew it, Elsa was at her door, tearing it open and sprinting down the hall. The door slammed open in her room, leaving a dent in the drywall. Heart working on overtime, Elsa swung into the upstairs bathroom and locked the door. ' _What have I done now?'_ She took a moment to try to calm her panic, but it didn't work. She couldn't breathe, cotton was plugging her airway. Elsa sank down, back against the door and hugged her legs. The tile floor was cold, sending shivers up and down the platinum blonde.

A knock at the door echoed in her ears. "Open up, Elsa, it's okay, you can tell me!" Anna's pleading voice only tore Elsa's heart apart more. She tightened her eyes closed and pressed her face against her knees hard, tears streaming from her face.

Her words were raspy and came out a little too harshly, "G-go away, A-A-Anna."

Alone in the cold darkness, the platinum blonde hugged herself, slowly choking on her own sorrow. No hope was left, no one could help, Elsa was alone, and she knew she would be forever. The void slowly took over.

 


	3. The Movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out, thoughts by characters will be in italics. That's what I normally do, but I didn't see the rich text option on chapter 1.

"Okay, I have to think of the perfect present for Elsa!" Anna was bouncing off the walls and ceiling at the mall, excited for Saturday. "Not only is it her eighteenth birthday, but it's her high school graduation, too!" The red head was screaming, skipping towards a clothing store, her voice high and melodic.

Kristoff trailed behind her, less excitedly crossing the boundary of the shop full of dresses and other things he would never wear. ' _He's a really good friend, I know this isn't fun for him, but he offered to help pick something out anyway.'_ "I'm sure we will find something." Kristoff sighed as he dragged his feet with Anna to look at the dresses.

Anna could barely contain herself, she was on overdrive, giddy with excitement. Electricity replaced the blood in her veins, coursing through her and bouncing her up and down. "How about this one?" The red head pointed to a dress that was simple but still elegant. It was light green, laced with a black stripe for a belt and on the shoulders some black leafy looking things laced into it. Nothing fancy, more functional, as it was made of a silky material. Touching it was like dipping her hand into a cloud.

Narrowing his eyes, Kristoff ran his hand across his longish, blonde hair. He was obviously struggling to do his best, gears cranking above his head. Dress shopping just wasn't his thing. "It looks nice, but I think blue is more Elsa's color, don't you?"

Anna widened her eyes slightly, taking in what the blonde had just said. _Of course! Why didn't I think of that!? Elsa has the prettiest, purest blue eyes I have ever seen! A blue dress would be perfect!_ "You're right! Thanks, Kristoff!" Bubbling, the red head bolted towards the first blue dress that caught her eye. It was a light blue across the mid section and skirt with a bronze strip right where Elsa's hips would be. The Shoulders and sleeves were black, and over the breasts was a fluid dark blue design, branching a couple times. The fabric was a light one, making the dress a viable option to wear. Anna just imagined Elsa in it, her pale skin accented by the black of the dress, her eyes beautifully brought out by the color of the dress. Platinum blonde hair braided, flowing over her shoulder, like Elsa wore it so many times before. Anna realized she was staring into space and even drooling slightly and quickly regained herself. Her cheeks warmed up and her heart worked harder. _I hope Kristoff didn't see me daydreaming about my sister in this dress._ Embarrassed, she turned around to check. He had. Anna wanted to sink through the floor, her cheeks glowed crimson as she brought her hand up to hide her face.

Kristoff's lips stretched into a teasing grin and said "stop imagining me in that dress!"

Not being able to contain herself, Anna burst out laughing at the thought of her good friend in any dress, and felt a wave of cool relief wash away any remnants of embarrassment. Choking on her own laughter, Anna retorted "make me!" and gave Kristoff a playful shove.

The blonde cocked his head back, pointing his thumb out the door at a Gamestop across the way. In a more serious tone that was still riddled with chuckles, he suggested "dresses are great and everything, but I think video games would be more Elsa's speed. And I know exactly which one." He held his chin up in pride.

Looking over her blonde friend's shoulder, Anna, once again, exploded in excitement, spilling it everywhere. "Kristoff! You're a genius!" And at that, the girl bound out of their current store, flying into Gamestop. When she entered, she realized she had no idea what anything was and he smile faded to a confused look. _Oookay, well, Kristoff said he knows which one_. Anna whirled in place, her amber hair spinning out on end and swinging across her back as she stopped. Kristoff was just catching up with Anna, and she wasted no time in blurting out "okay, which one?"

The burly blonde smiled smugly and pointed to his left. Tracing the line shooting from her friend's finger, Anna locked her eyes on a game called InFamous: Second Son. _Ooh! I think I remember Elsa saying something about that game!_ Beaming, Anna ran over and picked a copy of the game up, the plastic was cool to the touch. "Better than a dress?"

At Kristoff's words, an idea sprouted in Anna's mind. _Why not both? I mean, one for her birthday, one for her graduation!_ "I'll get her both!" The red head screeched, her voice epically high pitched. She had been saving money for a long time while babysitting, and was hopeful she had the money. Heart pumping hard and blood bubbling, Anna waltzed to the cashier in Gamestop. Due to tax, the total came to a little over sixty dollars and the girl produced the money. Even the cashier couldn't help but smile at her exuberant grin. Stuffing the game in a black and white plastic bag labeled 'Gamestop,' the cashier cheerfully bid Anna a good day, and she replied with a loud and melodic "Thank you! You too!"

Humming to herself and completely forgetting about Kristoff, Anna skipped back across the hallway of the mall to re enter the dress store. She took a quick look around and scanned all of the dresses, looking for the gorgeous blue one she had seen earlier. Drinking in all of the sights, Anna quickly spotted what she was looking for and darted over. A warm vibration tickled her stomach as the red head thought about Elsa's reaction. _She'll love it! She'll love both of the presents!_ "Are you sure you want to get both things for Elsa? I know you really love her but isn't that a little bit of an overkill?" Kristoff sounded skeptical of Anna's decision. _If only you knew, Kristoff._ Then, Anna began to doubt herself. Not the presents, she was definitely getting her Elsa two, but her feelings. She knew for a fact that she had feelings for her sister that stretched beyond platonic love. But was she in _love_ with Elsa? Or did she just have a crush on her? _I've never been_ in _love with someone, how do I know? I should talk to Bulda about it, she may be better at this than me._

Not letting her confusion show in the slightest, Anna sharply spoke to Kristoff, "Elsa is getting both, she deserves them."

Kristoff's voice was teasingly dismissive, "Alright, whatever you say."

"That's what I thought," Anna turned with a humph and when to get the dress. _I really hope I have the money for this_. The girl held her breath as she flipped the price tag, tar pumping her through and covering her lungs. _$149.99, that's not too terrible, I can get it!_ A wave washed Anna of her worries as a sigh of relief slid out of her mouth. Heart soaring like a kite, Anna grabbed the dress in the size she thought would fit her older sister the best and headed to the check out counter, Kristoff in tow. Smiling brightly at the overly excited red head approaching, the clerk, an older woman with thin glasses, took the dress. "And how are you today my dear?"

Anna smiled at the lady, her freckles very prevalent against her skin. "I'm wonderful, you?"

"I'm doing just fine myself, thank you." The woman looked down to scan the dress, still smiling and rang Anna up.

"I think your happiness is contagious, Anna." Kristoff had caught himself smiling, too.

The red head blushed and produced enough money to pay and get a few dollars in change. Excitement bubbling out of every pore in her body, Anna grabbed the back that the cashier offered her and chirped a thanks like a bird in the spring. _I can't wait to give Elsa her gifts! She is going to be eighteen! And a rising freshmen at college!_ A sudden pang of hurt shot through Anna, ripping part of her heart violently. _She is going to go away to college..._ The thought tormented her, mocking her recent happiness and towering over her like a giant. It cast a shadow of grief encompassing the girl. _What am I going to do?_ The notion was threatening to bring tears to Anna's eyes, but she fought back. Not now, she was going to be happy right now, she was going to enjoy this weekend and then this entire summer with her sister. She would think about Elsa leaving when it was relevant.

Returning to her bubbly state of being, Anna skipped out of the store, swinging a bag in either hand, her red locks of bouncing up and down. "Come on, Kristoff!" She shouted back, "Let's go!" The burly blonde once again couldn't help but let his lips stretch in reaction to Anna's excitement. He followed her out the door and to his car. A feather tickling her insides and a warm fuzz spreading throughout her, Anna hopped in to the passenger's seat to head home. _I can't let Elsa see these._

When Kristoff dropped Anna off the sun was just setting, burning the clouds in an orange red color. The entire world was tinted, faint orange flames licking everything, creating a haze in the air. Anna's hair was especially fiery in the lighting, glowing bright as she passed through a ray of sunshine. Her skin appeared a faint red, partially masking her freckles and covering her with the illusion of a blush.

_Okay, if Elsa isn't in the kitchen that means she is in her room and I'm home free!_ Cautiously, Anna opened the front door, peering in to the base of the stairs. Elsa was nowhere to be seen, and the red head took her opportunity, darting in the house and shutting the door. Anna was headed to bound up the stairs taking them two at a time. _Ha! Easy peasy lemon sque- Ooh what's that smell?_ Forgetting she had Elsa's gifts, Anna looked back to check what was creating that aroma that was graciously pleasuring her nostrils. It was sweet and rich, chocolaty, and warm. _Brownies! Who is making brownies?_ Anna heard the upstairs toilet flush, snapping her back to her immediate mission, not letting Elsa see the presents. _Oh no, that was from upstairs, that means Elsa is about to walk down the hallway!_ With the speed of a cheetah, Anna flew up the stairs, taking them not two, but three at a time. Tunnel visioned on her room, the red head dashed down the hall, bursting open her door and pushing it shut with a loud slam behind her. Anna now had time to feel her heart pounding with a hammer on her chest. _Phew, that had to be close_.

Anna placed the items under her bed for later wrapping. Right now all she cared about was those brownies. Saliva pooled in the girl's mouth as she thought of the treats she would soon be stealing from their creator. Anna opened back up her door to see the bathroom door still shut and the light still on. _Okay, maybe I didn't have to go light speed to my room_. Anna chuckled at herself.

Mind locked on the delicious, chocolaty morsels awaiting her downstairs, Anna started her stroll down the hallway. When she got downstairs her nose was bombarded with that thick, rich smell. It filled her nostrils, spreading through her entire body. Her hair stood on end as the girl closed her eyes and took a deep whiff of the brownies. Anna's eyes rolled back in ecstasy, and only after regaining control of herself did she look at the pan of delicious deserts. _Of course they aren't cut yet. Step one, eat all of it._ Tempting as it was, Anna fought the urge to just scoop as much brownie as she could into her hands and stuff her face. _But it would be funny_. Laughing at the thought of herself being a child, the redhead went to get a knife.

It slid through the uncut desert like, well, a knife through a warm brownie. Anna cut a chunk most people would consider four pieces of brownie and set the knife down, warm chocolate goo sticking to it like glue. Grinning from ear to ear, Anna picked up her treat, the scrumptious morsel would not release from the rest easily. Its gooey warmth meant that the knife was effectively useless and Anna might as well have been grabbing randomly at the brownies. Chocolaty goo was pulling the girl's beloved piece apart, ripping it into a warm, melting blob. _At least I tried to be civilized._

Anna stuffed all of what she managed to grab into her mouth at once, only stopping to savor it once completely inhaled. An eruption of flavor poured over her tongue. Her taste buds perked up, yelling songs of praise, linking arms with the sweat desert. The brownie melted instantly in Anna's mouth, covering her tongue entirely. Pure pleasure rolled down Anna's spine, once again sending her eyes to the back of her head as she chewed. A small moan escaped the girl's lips, barely audible to even her but still there. _I always do that when I eat chocolate._ Anna shrugged it off and continued emerging herself in the blissful perfection that was her food.

"Hey," The soft voice coming from behind Anna startled her. She shot her hand up to cover her mouth, as if to hide her crime, but her hand had other ideas. A small, sharp pain shot through her own cheek as Anna's hand collided with it. Elsa chuckled quietly, Anna could imagine the way her older sister was looking at her. Eyebrows raised and hand covering the curved lips creating laughter. "Are you okay?" Elsa didn't sound worried, but rather it was clear in her voice that she was trying her best not to laugh at her younger sister's clumsiness.

Embarrassed, Anna refused to turn around, her face warming up in a blush. Choking down what was left of her stolen treat, the red head responded, mouth full. "I'm fine." She stopped to gulp down the brownie, the sudden lack of chocolaty goodness that had been gracing her mouth saddened her slightly. _I want more_. Anna finally turned around as she asked the question, cocking her eyebrows slightly, eyes meeting Elsa's. The platinum blond's face was relaxed, and where she stood one of the last dying rays of the evening's red sun illuminated her face. It masked her eye color and pale skin, almost shining off of the older girl. Elsa's hair appeared a ting orange, glowing magically in the light. Anna's sister was the center of a photo shoot, lighting prepared to make her as surreal and unmatchable as possible. Although Elsa was wearing just a fairly baggy t-shirt and skinny genes, Anna could see the light accenting her curves, particularly on her legs. The soft denim glowed red-orange on one side, transitioning to a dark blue on the other side of Elsa's thy. And still, the way Elsa's face was illuminated Anna couldn't get over. Those icy blue eyes were replaced with soft orange ones, turning Elsa into a mythical creature of beauty, the object that Aphrodite herself strives to become.

Snapping herself out of her staring, Anna refocused on everything but Elsa in an attempt to hide that she went googly eyed over her sister. _She probably thinks I'm a freak. Wait, how long was I even staring for?_ Heat rising in her cheeks yet again, Anna quietly asked "So, did you make these?" and gestured to the brownie pan behind her.

Elsa let her lips stretch into an even wider smile and gently nodded, still with the entrancing aura of the sun's evening light.

Earnestly, Anna began to apologize, her voice very high, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't, I mean I know I shouldn't have taken one but-"

She was cut off by Elsa raising up her hand and stifling a giggle while she spoke. "It's okay, I made them for us anyway."

Anna shot her sister teasing look and asked quizzically "why? What'd you do?"

The platinum blonde couldn't help but laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. Anna's heart fluttered at the sight of her sister, who right now, in this moment, seemed to be happy. These times were few and far between, and Anna made sure to savor every one of them. Bliss covered the red head in a warm blanket, protecting her from the cold of the outside world. "Well, I'm not the one that went straight to using my hands to eat them!"

Anna howled in an odd self defensive laughter, quickly defending her actions. "I tried to use a knife! But they were too soft and warm and yummy and amazing for it to work." The red head pointed at the evidence, a knife caked in brownies laying on the counter.

Her words laced with a small laugh Elsa replied "whatever you say, Anna" in a teasing manner.

Elsa still looked so happy, so at ease. Anna let out a small sigh of happiness, staring her sister in the eyes. Her heart skipped a beat and she jumped up, barely concealing a squeal of excitement, she had an idea. "Hey, do you want to watch a movie?" Anna's question was more like an excited squeal.

A little bewildered by the question, Elsa took a moment to respond. "Uhh, um, y-yeah. Which one?" Being caught off guard was clearly not Elsa's specialty.

_I hadn't gotten that far._ "Umm... Well, what kind of movie do you want to watch?" Elsa appeared to be thinking, her forehead creased. Anna knew that her sister scarcely watched movies, but she wanted Elsa to enjoy it too.

Elsa looked at Anna and said kind of nervously "Something l-light-hearted." _Why is Elsa so nervous, it's just a movie._

Dropping her sister's awkwardness on the ground, Anna beamed as she figured out the perfect movie. "Have you seen Pirates of the Caribbean?"

Looking a little embarrassed with a red flush about her face, Elsa looked down at her feet and began to wiggle them. Her voice was barely audible now, and thin. "No."

"It's okay!" Anna was trying to keep her sister at ease. "I'll go get it from my room and meet you in yours!" Elsa seemed to discard her sensitivity and her eyes were lit up. _She's excited!_ The thought made Anna bubble inside, filling her entire body with a heated blanket. "Don't forget the brownies" the red head added, a smirk on her face.

Elsa simply smiled at Anna, moving over to grab the deserts. Anna's heart skipped at the sight of the platinum blonde's lips stretched that far to her ears.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Anna bolted for her room. Her blood was bubbled, filling every fiber of her being with anticipation. _I get to watch a movie with Elsa! I get to cuddle up next to her and relax, like normal sisters!_ Anna was unsure how normal sisters actually went about their day, but she was pretty sure it didn't involve drooling over each other. Once again, the thought of whether or not she was in _love_ with Elsa crossed her mind. _I_ like _her, yes, but do I_ love _her in that way? Seeing her smile is the greatest feeling in the world._ Unphased by her thoughts, Anna erupted through her door. _Now to find that movie!_

Anna tore through her room, fueled by the thought of spending more time with Elsa burning like rocket fuel. _I know it's in here_. After several minutes of destroying her entire room in pursuit of the DVD, Anna let her face drop, her lips creating a disappointed straight line. Not disappointed at the mess she made, but rather disappointed that she forgot where she put the movie. The red head turned her gaze to the table on which her own TV rested, and sure enough, right there on the table was her copy of Pirates of the Caribbean. She had put it there to avoid this very problem the next time she felt like watching it, after all, it was her favorite movie.

The last time she watched it. Anna shuddered at the memory. It had been early October, when she was still dating the sorry excuse for a slimeball known as Hans. Anna remembered that night clearly, like it had just happened yesterday.

* * *

The doorbell rang downstairs. Anna jumped up with excitement, running to the front door to open it up. Hans was standing there, he was a little late coming over, but Anna didn't care, he was here now. She knew he would have to leave at nine, but still, and hour and a half was an okay amount of time, right? Heart pounding with excitement, Anna pulled him inside and into a quick embrace, which he returned. "I think we should watch Pirates of the Caribbean!" The red head was squealing with excitement.

"Sure." Hans didn't sound very happy about the movie, but Anna took it for face value, grabbing his arm and pulling him up to her room. She was surprisingly strong for her size.

Pushing him onto her bed, Anna went and set up the movie, pressing the play button before getting comfortable. She snuggled up to his shoulder, allowing him to wrap is arm around her back and fixated her eyes on the screen. He wasn't the most comfortable to lay on, but she was happy. Hans' warm chest gently rose up and down as he breathed, lifting Anna's head with it. She felt his hand resting limply on her arm, he had created a wall around the girl, which she thought was there to protect her.

Around the halfway point of the movie, Anna looked up at Hans as he was looking down at her. He smiled and puckered his lips, leaning in for a kiss. When their lips contacted, Anna felt a small, weak warmth pass through her. A sensation of an electric shock traveled down her back, pleasuring her. Briefly during her kiss with Hans Anna, imagined what Elsa's lips would feel like in the place of Hans'. Her heart fluttered and she pushed the thought away quickly. _What was that!?_ Focusing back on her boyfriend, Anna felt a fuzz begin to grow in her stomach, her entire body was tingling lightly. The kiss felt good, yes, but nowhere near as good as she wanted to believe it felt. Every time Anna kissed Hans she would feel that same tingling, but it was no match for the tingles that just a hug from Elsa would bring. The thought of Elsa's slender arms wrapping around her gave Anna goosebumps up and down her body. She smiled into the kiss. Just the thought of Elsa gave a kiss with Anna's boyfriend an entirely new edge, an exciting twist that left Anna confused with butterflies in her stomach, but yearning for more.

Then Anna felt a thick, strong hand travel down the thin of her back, reaching dangerously close to her behind, snapping her back to reality. She opened her eyes and pulled away just as Hans grabbed the skirt of her dress. He stopped once Anna tore their lips apart and looked at her quizzically. Anna became nervous, she wasn't ready for anything like that, she was too scared. Hans' greyish eyes searched Anna's teal ones, and finally she began to talk. In a quiet voice she said "I- I just don't think I'm ready. I'm sorry, Hans."

Her boyfriend looked a little disgruntled, but to Anna's great relief he pulled his hand up, placing it back on her arm and spoke, "It's okay." The red head rested once again on Hans' chest, becoming quickly engrossed in the movie playing. Cool relief flowed through her veins, _He understands._ But still, Anna couldn't shake his tone and disappointed look. They haunted her, teasing her with words, saying that he didn't understand, that he was judging her and angry at her for not giving in to him. Despite the ghosts assaulting her mind, Anna noticed that Hans didn't try again for the rest of the night, relaxing her brain slightly.

Near the end of the movie, there was a knock at the door. Anna's father spoke through the wooden barrier, "It's just about nine, time for Mr. Hans to go."

Anna frowned. She didn't want him to have to go, she didn't want this stupid curfew, more than a curfew, people couldn't even be over past nine. _Why not? This is such a stupid rule!_ Anna's blood began to boil, filling her body with hot steam. Then, another voice made itself known, this time from next to her on her bed, and it sounded as angry as she felt. "What is with your parents and this stupid nine o'clock rule? It ruins any fun we're having."

_To be fair, you didn't seem like you were having the most fun here_. Anna couldn't help but get a little bit defensive for her parents, _they are just trying to protect me, right? That's gotta be it._ Anna was still annoyed with her parents, but for some reason when Hans spoke out against them it felt different; it felt personal. He didn't have the right to do that, he should respect them, even if Anna didn't. _Right?_ Realizing she was working herself up over nothing, Anna closed her eyes and forced herself to rectify her uneven breathing, slowing her heart rate down a little bit. In a voice calm enough for Anna to be proud of her self control, she spoke. "I don't like it either, but they are just trying to protect me."

Hans let out a deep, frustrated sigh and exhaled "Yeah, yeah. Protect you from what? Fun?"

_Well, he has a point._ Still a little annoyed, Anna let out a breath and muttered. "I don't know, but they think it's best for me."

She felt the room heat up with Hans' anger and didn't look at him, but rather got up and opened the door. She was feeling a little scared now, many times when even small things like this happened, Hans would become angry at her and hurt her feelings. _But it doesn't happen too much, right?_ The red head heard her boyfriend take in a breath. He was about to do it, he was about to stab her in the heart again like he had a couple times before. But then something different happened, something that hurt worse, words that made Anna crumble like a rotting building. "There's your freak of a sister." Hans was looking into the hallway, where Elsa had just left the bathroom. She was giving him that death stare, creating a protective boundary around Anna. But it didn't work, Hans' words made Anna's blood boil.

_No one calls Elsa a freak!_ "She is not a freak! Don't ever say _anything_ bad about my sister!" Anna's voice was raised quite a bit, she could feel her knuckles clenched, turning them white and spitting a dull pain in her palms where her nails dug.

Hans appeared startled by her outburst, snarled in anger at Anna not siding with him. "If you are gonna defend your sister _and_ your parents, then you are right where you belong. With the freaks" Ouch. Anna felt a hand rip her heart out. She had been hurt a little by Hans before but this was a new level for him. She was bleeding on the inside, and just wanted him gone. Mustering her strength, Anna pushed Hans towards the stairs, barely moving him, shouting for him to leave. He smiled smugly and said "Don't worry, I don't wanna stay."

* * *

 

Now standing in her room, her DVD of Pirates in hand, Anna thought through the memory. _I should have broken up with him that day. I should have told him never to contact me again. But what did I do? I ran back to him the next day, apologizing for what I said. How stupid can I be?_

Anna realized she had been standing in the middle of her hurricane torn room, thinking through the night. _How long has Elsa been waiting on me?_ Her legs acting before her brain told them to, Anna darted out of her room and to Elsa's.

When she quietly knocked she got the familiar "come in" from her older sister. Elsa didn't sound impatient, so Anna guessed she hadn't been spaced out for very long. _Phew!_ Cool relief splashed Anna as she walked in.

Elsa was already sitting on her bed, the TV set up, her Playstation ready for Anna to insert the movie. The older girl smiled at Anna, melting Anna's heart. Elsa was so beautiful, the dim light of the TV was the only source of light once Anna flipped the light switch, making Elsa's face glow in the dark. The platinum blonde's very light freckles were hidden in the lighting, making her perfectly smooth. _Wow, Elsa. I am speechless at your beauty._ Not noticing the small amount of drool in the corner of her mouth, Anna crossed the room to the bed. Heart pumping, she hopped on, bringing covers over herself.

Elsa watched as her sister's silhouette crossed the room to her bed. She couldn't see Anna's face but she was sure it was gorgeous, as it always is. Elsa's palms were sweaty, her heart pumping fast. _Conceal, be a sister._ She was nervous about watching a movie with Anna, though she didn't exactly know why. She had scarcely watched a movie with her sister before, maybe that was it? _Or maybe it's because of the disgusting peace of worthless garbage you are._ Her father's words rang in her ears, _conceal, don't feel._

Anna crawled into the bed next to Elsa. Hammers were pounding hard on the older girl's temples, sending dull thuds of pain through her skull. A slight headache intruded on Elsa as she tried to calm herself down. Then the covers were flying over Anna, resting also on top of Elsa. _Don't feel, don't feel._ The covers landed. Heat coursing around and through Elsa's body. A storm raised in her stomach. Anna slid up and placed her head against Elsa's shoulder. The contact send pleasant fires across Elsa's skin and down her arm. Anna's skin was so soft, so smooth. _Conceal, don't feel._ Elsa's breathing became shallow, her palms slimy with sweat. She closed her eyes, taking in the deepest breath she could, testing the limits of her lungs. Slowly, the older girl exhaled, the attempt to calm her nerves scarcely working.

Anna shifted and spoke, her voice a little scared and apologetic, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I'll move if you want."

_No, the last thing I want is for you to move._ Having Anna snuggle up to Elsa easily one of the best feelings the older girl had ever experienced. She was nervous, yes but she wanted Anna's warmth to hold her, to help melt these walls of ice that had been constricting her for so long. Elsa was uneasy enough for her stutter to reappear in her shaky voice, "N-no. You c-can s-stay."

Anna let out an audible sigh of relief, and seemed to warm up even more. She once again rested her cheek on Elsa's shoulder, wrapping her tender hands around the older girl's arm. The cold walls were melting slowly every time Anna showed Elsa affection. Every time Elsa felt she did something right, namely being a sister. Every time Anna was happy. _Your are treading in dangerous water._ But the moment was too peaceful for Elsa to berate herself. Her stomach was doing back flips, kicking warm fuzz around her insides, melting away Elsa's fear. _Anna, your only true friend. Your sister._

Getting lost in the movie, Elsa lost track of time. The movie was engrossing, sucking Elsa into a world of pirates, action, and quite a bit of comedic relief. _I see why Anna likes this movie so much._ Elsa felt happy, genuinely happy, like she was on cloud nine and she could never fall.

Captain Jack Sparrow took the wheel of his ship, The Black Pearl, and took out a compass. The man muttered one more line, and the credits began rolling. Elsa sat there, wishing the movie wouldn't end. It was excellent, _why had I never watched that before?_ The warmth of Anna's breath tickled the older girl's neck, teasing her skin with its pleasant presence. Elsa looked down at her sister to see the red head peering up at her in the dark, the music coming from the TV seemed to fade away, leaving Elsa alone, looking at the ever so close face of Anna. A smile graced Anna's lips, her eyes weren't clearly visible in the dim lighting but they were still shining with joy. Her lips were soft in the lighting, the already soft looking skin took on a whole new dimension. Just the silhouette of her jaw was visible, and the edges of those warm, luscious lips. Elsa couldn't even begin to imagine how they felt, her heart raced just thinking about it. A taffy maker needed her stomach, butterflies escaping it and traversing her entire body. _Stop, conceal, don't feel. Don't feel, don't feel._ Elsa's palms were sweaty as the put all of her will power into prying her eyes off of Anna's face and swallowing her thoughts about her sister's lips. _I can't let myself think these things._

Anna spoke, a whisper only audible because of her proximity to Elsa's ear, her voice laced in a warm breath. "How'd you like the movie?"

Smiling at her sister, Elsa choked up a response, fighting a little bit for her words. "It was good." _Good? That's all you can say?_ She quickly corrected herself, "g-great, actually."

The red head beamed, and replied in a whisper that was loud enough to pass at a yell, "I'm so glad you liked it! Pirates has been my favorite movie for ever!" Elsa couldn't help but smile at her sister's excitement. It brought back that fuzz in her stomach that helped her tear down her walls, that helped her not feel like a failure. The fuzz that made her feel like maybe, just maybe, someone truly cared about her. She had to stifle back tears. Then Anna began to speak again, this time more serious, and quietly. "Elsa, your birthday and graduation are both Saturday." She paused to let the words sink in. _Right, I forgot..._ "Do you want to do anything for them?"

Elsa grew nervous, fiddling with her hands. _Like, a party?_ Unsure if she could handle very many people to talk to, Elsa became uneasy. _What if 'it' comes back? What if they all think I'm a freak? They_ _will, I am a freak of nature, I'm an abomination._

Elsa didn't realize that her breathing had become shallow and uneven, but apparently Anna did because she quickly spoke again. "We don't have to. I mean, it could just be you and me, I'd be okay with that. Maybe if you're feeling up to it, Kristoff can come over for a little, too." _Kristoff is nice, and he plays video games a bit_. _But what if he found about about my..?_ Elsa didn't want to think of the word. Her palms were sweaty and a boa constrictor was tightening around her heart.

"Um... I don't know..." Elsa barely made a noise when she tried to speak the words, but Anna understood.

"Kristoff thinks of you as a friend, he wants to be around for such a big day in your life. But I'm sure he won't take offense if you say no, he knows that you're shy. He doesn't know about your-" Anna quickly stopped herself. She knew bringing up Elsa's stutter would make her older sister uncomfortable, and she didn't want that. But Elsa knew what she was going to say. _I would feel even worse if I said no. I feel like I'd be hurting Anna, and I wouldn't be able to live if I hurt her._ Elsa choked back a lump forming in her throat, shutting her eyes to calm there threat of tears. "So," Anna began cautiously, "should I tell him to come over?"

Heart still fighting to breathe, Elsa looked down at Anna. How could she say no to that girl? To her sister? To the one person that truly cared for her? To the beautiful red head now looking up at her? With sweaty palms, Elsa slowly nodded her head. She was terrified that something would go wrong, but what it was she did not know. _It'll be okay, you've hung out with him a couple times. And now you know that he thinks of you as a friend. That makes two. Two friends._

Something was wrong, usually by now Anna would have let out a squeal of excitement, but she hadn't yet. Elsa looked down at her sister, eyes growing heavy. Anna looked like she was walking on thin ice, carefully planning her next move. Her voice gave the same effect, "I have one more question."

Elsa's heart sped up. _Why did she ask it like that?_ The butterflies in the older girl's stomach had transformed into beasts, tearing the inner walls apart. In the strongest voice Elsa could muster she simply turned her head and let out a "hmm," inviting Anna to ask away.

The red head took a deep breath, not going unnoticed by Elsa. _If she has to calm down, how am I going to take this?_ Elsa's palms were once again sweating, in fact, her entire body was. Fighting for air, the platinum blonde heard Anna's distinct voice tickle her eardrums. "Well, I was just wondering, since I'm close to Kristoff and he is a really nice guy and really non-judgemental, and, you know, he thinks of you as a friend. Well, I was wondering, if you would be okay with- if you wouldn't mind me-" Elsa was beginning to see scenarios fly through her mind, all of which were thoroughly displeasing to her. She didn't like the direction Anna was going with her little ramble. A wall of fear built itself between Elsa and her beloved sister, pushing them farther away, leaving Elsa alone in the cold. "What I'm trying to ask is can I, well, tell Kristoff about your... You know." Elsa's heart became lead, tearing through her stomach on it's way down. Elsa's breathing became rapid and shallow, her head became light. Covered in a cold sweat, Elsa fidgeting in her place. She wanted to say no, she never wanted anyone to know about her stutter. _But Anna knows, and she still loves you_. She wanted Anna to tell Kristoff, a weight would be lifted from her shoulders if the guy didn't show any judgment. _Maybe he won't. Anna has been working so hard to be there for me, to help me in any way she can. She even made me a friend, something I've never been able to do myself but have always wanted to do._ Elsa's heart tore itself in thirds, spewing cold loneliness everywhere. _I want to be closer to more people. I want to talk to people. Maybe if Kristoff knows I'll be able to talk to him?_

Anna was still looking at her older sister, who seemed to be made very uncomfortable at the question. Elsa was fidgeting in her seat, clearly weighing her options. _Did I push that question on Elsa too fast?_ Anna couldn't help but let the raft she had been riding on sink into the freezing tides. She had to say something to ease Elsa's discomfort as well as her own. "I just thought maybe, you know, if I tell him it'd save you the trouble later on."

The older girl looked at Anna, her features not clear in the dim light, but her eyes were clearly wetting themselves. Anna felt her own throat become thick and her own eyes become misty just looking at Elsa. Closing her eyes, the platinum blonde slowly nodded her head. A tear escaped her eyelid, leaving a shining trail as it flowed down her face. Anna was suddenly unsure if she should go through with it. Elsa was clearly nervous, her shaking seemed to be moving the whole house. But she did say yes. _Well, nod yes._

Anna reached her hand out, placing it ever so gently on Elsa's shoulder. The contact sent a warm force through the older girl's body, melting away a tiny bit of her uncertainty. She looked at Anna's soft, teal eyes, the ones that never have judged her, never left her behind. The eyes that were everything her father was not. Anna was the closest person to Elsa by far. She had begun to fill the infinite void inside Elsa, slowly but surely. She added to her pile with every breath, every laugh, every look, everything she did. It drove Elsa, and Elsa trusted Anna for it. "It's okay if you don't want me to tell him, Elsa." Anna's voice chased away the storm. Reassuring and gentle, it was just what Elsa needed to be sure that her sister should tell Kristoff.

Not breaking eye contact, Elsa began to speak. Her voice was broken, and her nervousness enough to bring her stutter out in the light completely. "Y-y-you c-can t-te-t-tell h-h-im-m."

Suddenly, Elsa was wrapped in a cocoon, but not her normal, cold and sharp one. No, this one was warm. This one was soft, it was helpful. It helped her blossom a tad bit more. "Thank you, Elsa. I love you so much." The words heated the platinum blonde's ears, sending warm water pumping through her veins, rejuvenating her limbs and stomach, clearing her head. Though she was still nervous, Elsa knew she made the right choice, she knew because Anna was there, holding her. _I want you to be there forever, Anna._ Elsa collapsed into the hug, burying her face in her younger sister's neck, allowing tears to flow. The embrace was so inviting, so needed.

Elsa's voice was soft when she spoke. "I l-love you t-t-too." The words barely escaped her throat.

Anna gently broke from the hug, even in the dark her eyes were lit up and mouth stretched into an ear to ear smile. Elsa yearned for her sister's touch for a moment, then berated herself. _Don't feel. Conceal it. She is your sister, you can't feel that._ "I'm gonna call him now." The words almost went right through Elsa as she was lost in her self destructive thoughts.

Anna reached for her phone, scrolling to Kristoff's name and hovered her finger over the call icon. The red head looked up at her older sister, her expression giving Elsa one last chance to change her mind. Knowing her path was correct, Elsa slowly nodded her head once again, this time it was easier. At that, Anna called their friend.

 


	4. Second Session

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the minor delay, I've been preoccupied with life lol. I'll be posting another chapter tonight.

"Hello, Anna, how are you doing today?" Bulda asked as she once again lead Anna into her office. This time, however, the hallway didn't seem to stretch infinitely, and Anna found herself anxiously awaiting their chat.

"I'm good! A lot less nervous than last time." The red head smiled at her counselor as the passed through the door and headed over to the couch. Forgetting how soft and squishable the couch was, Anna plopped down, almost completely being eaten by her seat.

Bulda shut the door, crossing the room to her seat and took her place facing the red head. "I'm glad, shall we get started?"

Nodding almost violently, Anna began talk just as her counselor turned on the tape recorder. "I kinda have a weird question.." Anna fiddled with her fingers, her heartbeat quickening.

Bulda simply smiled and responded "that's what I'm here for."

Stomach still revolting a little bit but nerves eased by Bulda's words, Anna shyly said "I know I have feelings for my sister," Although Anna had thought those words many times, it still felt kinda funny to say them out loud. _I_ _like_ _ _my__ _sister._ She pressed on, her voice wavering slightly, "but, but well, I'm not sure- how do you know if you are in, well, in love with someone?" Fiddling with her fingers, Anna looked weakly up at the woman sitting across from her. Her palms were sweaty and she took shallow, nervous breaths.

Bulda, on the other hand, seemed completely un-phased by the question. She spoke calmly. "Well, I'm no expert, but I can sure help you figure it out."

Anna smiled, a weird mixture of excitement and calm poured over her. Excitement because someone was gonna help her know for sure if she was in love, calmness because she was relieved that Bulda didn't judge her at all. With a fuzzy critter crawling around inside of her, Anna said "Okay.”

"I suppose first thing's first: do you have anything to compare your feelings for Elsa to? Any past relationships or other people you've had feelings for?" Bulda straightened her back.

_Ew, him._ Anna's cheeks warmed up, and in a thinner tone she said "I've really only been in one relationship, which ended during winter. But yeah, I do."

"Okay, when you were with your past significant other how did it feel in comparison to how if feels when you're with Elsa now?"

Of course Anna had thought of this before. When she kissed Hans it was nothing like even imagining a kiss with Elsa. It felt alright when she kissed her ex boyfriend, but there wasn't that same feeling. There was a weak electric tingle that died down before it passed her lips, and her stomach moved, but sluggishly. But when she imagined Hans' lips were Elsa's, it was something entirely different. The little spark was replaced with a full on wildfire, spreading down her back, making her hair stand up on end. Her stomach buzzed with a thousand bees wrestling to be escaped, and everything around her disappeared. Even just pretending to kiss Elsa was magnitudes better than any kiss Anna had ever had. The truth is, spending time with Hans always paled in comparison to just being in the same room as Elsa. "It doesn't even measure up. Just the thought of Elsa was more intense than kissing my ex. But just because my feelings are stronger doesn't mean I am in love with Elsa." _Does it?_

Bulda smiled at the girl. Anna was shaking with nervousness having a discussion about this. She never talked to someone about anything like this before, unless you count Rapunzel ranting about this guy she called Eugene. This was new water to Anna, and she forgot to test if before diving in. It was cold, but not unbearable, just a little uncomfortable. "You are absolutely right, but now we at least have a baseline to work with."

Anna was confused, she didn't exactly follow where Bulda was going, but she went with it. "Ooookayyy, what next?"

Bulda's voice was softer and quieter now. "Not to bring this discussion to a painful place, but if you are in love with someone, it will hurt like nothing else when they are hurt or shut you out."

Something broke inside Anna. Dark turmoil set in as she remembered the night she wanted to talk to Elsa about all year, but waited, keeping her promise to Elsa. The night when Elsa shutting her out hurt the most. The night she found out about her sister's stutter, and found out that there was something else gnawing away at her older sister. Anna flashed back to the night of her own first day of high school.

* * *

"Oh, Anna, if only you knew the worst part." Elsa's words were quiet, just barely breathed, like she didn't actually mean to say them. But they stung like an arrow. They broke through Anna's ribs, through the barrier of hope that she built once Elsa admitted about her stutter. It shattered the walls effortlessly, expertly sliding into her heart, leaving a gaping whole in the organ. She didn't want to believe the words. Elsa had admitted to the stutter, and Anna knew how anxious her sister got about social settings. It was clear as day. The pieces fit perfectly, the reasons Elsa kept to her self, they played off each other, surrounding Elsa in impassable flames of fear. But Anna couldn't deny, she knew immediately that wasn't why Elsa pushed her away. She knew there was something else, she just didn't want to believe it. And for a few moments she didn't have to. But then Elsa's words rang the doorbell and kicked in the door, bringing reality to Anna.

Before she could stop herself, the red head was shouting "What!? What worst part!?" Anna felt her heart stop, her words hit Elsa full force. Before she knew it, the older girl was running out the door, leaving the red head alone. A giant's hand cupped Anna's neck, making breathing a taxing chore. Her stomach was eating itself alive, and her heart; her heart was gone, replaced by emptiness. A black whole sucking up all of her hope, all of her happiness, and all of her progress getting her older sister to open up. It was gone. _No, It can't be! No!_ The red head was determined to fill her void, to feel hope again. Tears beginning to slide down her checks, burning their path on her face as she ran to chase Elsa.

Anna heard the bathroom door slam and gunned it, but she was too late. Just as she arrived, she heard a click. The door was locked. The whole in her chest grew, sending waves of mental agony through her. _Elsa shut me out again. I was so close, and she just shut me out. Even worse, whatever it is is clearly destroying her inside._ Anna could barely breathe, grief was crushing her. Her lungs hurt and her stomach was shredded. She tried to talk, but couldn't at first. Instead, she choked on the lump in her throat. Anna's next attempt was more successful, her words coming out weak and helpless. "Open up, Elsa, it's okay, you can tell me!"

There was silence for a moment. Hope began to fill the infinite whole where Anna's heart should be. The walls started to come down, sinking into the ground, extinguishing the burning fires around her. _Is she getting up to open the door? Is Elsa going to open back up?_ There was light, a light that held Anna's hand as she waited for her answer.

Another jab of words came, again expertly hitting their mark. "Go away, Anna." The words cut the last piece of frayed rope holding Anna in check. The black whole in her chest grew, absorbing her almost entirely. Her throat was completely replaced by a lump, tears streaming out of her eyes. Nothingness filled her, leaving her cold and lonely. Helpless in the storm, the only raft she had ever had drifted away, leaving her to fend for herself in the choppy waters. There was nothing around her, no one to save her as she sank to the ice cold depths. The red head couldn't even think anymore, she couldn't hope. Her fate was sealed, and there she accepted it, laying on the floor by the bathroom. She couldn't even cry. There was no point, so she just laid there, not moving, not thinking. Anna had been shut out before, but it had never been this bad; this time it had been different. Elsa had opened up, shared one of her darkest secrets with Anna. This time Anna knew there was something hurting her sister on the inside, which means Anna was also in anguish. That's what made it worse, because Anna knew if Elsa would just talk to her she could help. But instead she got a door in her face, instead every ounce of hope in her body was violently torn out and discarded.

Anna continued to lay there, a nothingness insider her, never letting anything in. Her lungs were filled with ice cold water, her heart useless. Slowly but surely the red head felt the inviting lull of sleep close in on her. She didn't want to be awake, to have to deal with what had just happened. To think about Elsa hurting and all of her progress getting close to her guarded sister being gone.

After all this time, Anna didn't remember what she dreamt that night, but she remembered waking up in a cold sweat, heart pounding hard. Her temples throbbed, her vision blurry and red. Panic was overtaking her body, coursing through her veins, and tears, both new and dried, were littering her cheeks. _What did I dream about?_

The red head slowly looked up at the door. It was still closed, of course. Now Anna could feel again, the pain of a thousand daggers twisting and tearing her heart shot through her chest. What was left of the organ dropped to her floor, her stomach following in suit. A massive firebreathing monster was ripping its way out of her stomach and eating anything it could. Anna's throat became thick letting no air through. Tears tickled the girl's cheeks at they passed by. The red head began to sob uncontrollably, letting out all the painful yells and tears that she couldn't earlier. Her voice was horse and painful as it game out, scratching her esophagus.

Anna laid there in her cold loneliness for what seemed like at eternity. It was about to happen, the tides were about to take her, a riptide trying to pull her out too far. The cold hurt that was replacing her heart grew and froze the girl in place while she cried, forcing the most painful thoughts it could through her head. _What is hurting you, Elsa? Why won't you let me help? We got this far. She doesn't trust me._

**Click**

_What the..?_ Anna looked up to see the bathroom door being pulled open. _She's coming out!_ Hope spread like a disease through Anna, chasing away the cold and lending her a helping hand against the riptide. She watched as a dark, slender figure slowly revealed itself from the darkness beyond the door. Elsa seemed surprised to see her sister their, "A-Anna?" Elsa doubled back a little as she spoke.

Anna tried to talk, but her dried, lumpy throat prevented it, all that came out was "Els." Her voice was weak and inaudible due to her crying. _There are so many things I want to say to her._

Clearly terrified, Elsa did her best to talk. Anna could feel the fear in her sister's soft, forced voice. "Y-you're still t-t-there?"

Having regained herself enough to speak, Anna said with a shaky voice "I wanted to be there for y-you." The last words were broken as the lump made its encore in her throat. She was choking back tears now.

This seemed to hit Elsa right in the heart as she slumped her shoulders a little and tears began to stream down her face. Her voice was extra labored. "I-I'm s-s-sorry."

The honest apology melted away the lump in Anna's throat. It warmed her heart, which just about melted there. "It's okay, Elsa. You were scared." At that, Anna stepped forward to give her sister a hug, moving slowly to give the older girl plenty of time to reject it. But she didn't, and that sent Anna's heart soaring in the air. Elsa flinched when the red head initially made contact, but eventually collapsed into the relaxing warmth of her hug. Anna felt most of her pain get washed away as Elsa wrapped her arms around the red head. All the pain but one gnawing, annoying thought. _I still don't know what "the worse part" is, and it's still destroying my sister._ But Anna knew better than to bring it up now. _I will when the time is right_. And the younger girl let her head rest on the platinum blonde's shoulder, surrounding the two in a protective cocoon.

Elsa whispered, the warm breath encompassing Anna's ear, "j-just one t-thing."

Stomach turning in on itself, Anna unsteadily replied. "What's that?"

The platinum blonde was clearly scared, her stutter making it painfully obvious how hard it was for her to talk right now. "D-don't a-ask about t-t-the w-w-wor-w-"

Anna finished for Elsa, "the worse part?"

Elsa's hair tickled Anna's neck and her smooth skin sent a tingly sensation down Anna's spine as she nodded.

"But I can help you," the strawberry blonde pleaded.

The next words from Elsa's mouth warmed Anna's heart once again. They were just about the best she could have expected, proof Elsa still trusted her younger sister. "I-I'll t-t-te-tell y-you when I'm r-re-ready." _She still trusts me. She wants to tell me, and she will, I just have to give her time._

Anna smiled and tightened their embrace, her heart working triple overtime. The horrible beasts in her stomach backed off just enough. "Okay" she said in a soft voice, "I'll wait."

* * *

And wait she had. Anna was brought back to her immediate surroundings, the couch, the office, Bulda sitting across from her. _She hasn't brought it up once since that night, but I know she remembers it clearly. We both do._ Suddenly, Anna became very aware of tears dripping from her red, puffy eyes, and her running nose. Embarrassed, she fought her blush as she reached for a tissue to clean up her face. Anna had kept true to her promise to Elsa, and not once had she brought up 'the worse part,' but rather, she patiently waited for Elsa to be ready. _And she can take her time, I'm not going to rush her._

Gradually shifting back to reality from her thoughts, Anna looked up at Bulda. "How long was I just lost in that memory?"

"Only a couple minutes." The counselor's voice was, as always, soft and inviting. "It must be a strong memory, you started tearing up during it."

"Yeah.. It was of a particularly harsh time that Elsa shut me out."

"What do you mean? I don't recall you telling me that Elsa shut you out." Bulda's voice betrayed concern along with her eyebrows, but the way she spoke didn't imply any pressure for Anna to answer.

_That's right... I've only told her that Elsa is quite the introvert._ Anna's breathing became shallow as she thought about the years that her sister kept her walls up. The walls Anna was so close to pummeling to the ground. A dull thud was beating on her head and chest as she began to speak to Bulda. "W-well," her voice was shaky, "for the longest time, whenever I got close to penetrating Elsa, she would retreat, keeping me away. I mean, she s-still does it, but" Anna paused to sniffle, her eyes burning red and puffy. Wiping her nose with the tissue she continued. "but now it isn't nearly as bad. I used to barely be able to get Elsa to say one word, but now me and her can have meaningful conversations. I guess the reason that that night was so bad was because it was the first time since we were kids that we were talking on such a deep level. We had built up trust, and that night I thought I lost all of it. I thought I l-lost her again." Anna began to cry, tears jumping from her jawline, the cotton wad in her throat forcing out painful sobs. Her heart was torn just thinking about how much Elsa used to push her away. _Used to, not anymore. Not so much._

As if reading the red head's thoughts, the counselor gently said "But you two are close now. She has opened up, there is no reason to dwell on those memories."

Bulda's words made Anna feel infinitely better, bringing her back to the present. The reason she was here, her feelings for Elsa. Thinking about how close she had become with her older sister brought a fuzz through her back, settling in her stomach. _We have come a long way._ Slowly Anna's tears dried and her nose stopped its incessant running. "Yeah," Anna's voice had a hint of cheer in it now, thoughts of seeing Elsa soon flooding her mind. "We're close now." Rather than morning over painful memories, Anna's optimism kicked in and she began focusing on the progress the two had made. It made her feel warm inside, like a fire was melting away her loneliness. Anna much preferred this feeling to her other option of crippling sorrow.

"Shall we bring this conversation back to your question?"

Anna had completely forgotten what she asked. Thinking back to the beginning of the session, the question finally came out of the shadow of Anna's conversation with her counselor and the painful memory she had relived. _Am I in love with Elsa?_ At this point, the girl was almost certain that her feelings for her sister were love and not just attraction at a lower level. When Elsa hurt, Anna hurt more. Anna's heart pounded just thinking about Elsa. Her stomach was doing backflips imagining the next day, Elsa's eighteenth birthday and highschool graduation. _I can't wait to give her the presents!_ Realizing her mind was wandering a little, Anna's cheeks grew warm and she quietly said "yeah, let's do that." Still, the thought of the next day lingered in her mind, shooting a buzz wherever it touched, making slightly hard to Anna to focus. Grinning from ear to ear, the red head forced her attention back on the counselor.

"When you are in love with someone, their happiness is always put before your own. If they are happy, you are happy." Bulda was more cheerful sounding now, her face warm and inviting with a smile.

Anna let the words soak in for a moment. _All I ever want to do is make her happy. Just seeing her with a smile fills me with this warm, fuzzy happiness that seems to infect my entire body._ Just the thought of Elsa grinning, even just the thought of Elsa at ease, made Anna's lips stretch goofily. Focusing on no particular memory, Anna thought about Elsa being happy. She pictured how her older sister's soft, thin lips would stretch out, bringing a slight red tint to her cheeks. The silky smooth, pale skin would crease at the corners of Elsa's mouth, her eyes squinting ever so slightly. And those rich, blue eyes. They would be filled with life, like looking over a vast ocean. It made Anna feel giddy inside just thinking of those eyes, they were always so beautiful. Anna's heart fluttered at her thoughts, her stomach once again warming up slightly.

In high spirits, Anna responded "Yeah, when she's happy, I'm happy. More than happy, nothing else feels like even the thought of making Elsa happy."

"That must have been a good memory, you are blushing quite a bit."

At Bulda's words Anna became self conscious of her crimson coat, causing her cheeks to warm up even more and become the color of a ripened tomato. She let out a small, nervous giggle and spoke. "It wasn't one particular memory, more like just me imagining Elsa happy."

Bulda smiled warmly, "I see. Are you any closer to answering your question than when you came in today?"

_Oh yeah, I've answered it alright._ Anna's heart fluttered and her stomach filled with a warm fuzz as the thought crossed her mind. _I'm in love with Elsa._ A fire burned through her inside, not a fierce one, but a pleasant one. It burned away any negative feelings, anything weighing Anna down. Not a single doubt left in her mind, Anna felt floaty, like she was riding on a cloud. "Yes," her voice was high and melodic, "I don't have any doubts that I'm in love with her. I guess I just needed to be sure what I was feeling was love, although I was pretty sure about it all along. But you squished my uncertainty."

"I'm glad I could help you with that."

Anna smiled sincerely looking up at Bulda. "Thank you."

"It's what I'm here for. Is there anything else you would like to talk about today?"

"Yes." Anna fell serious. Her weight suddenly came back to her, slapping her with reality. "I want to tell Elsa, but I'm scared. What if she hates me?" The thought sent cold shivers down Anna's spine, threatening her with small tears.

The counselor's voice was now very soft, a cushion under Anna in case she fell. "She won't hate you. Elsa is your sister, she will always love you."

The words lifted Anna a little bit, but didn't completely rid her of the gnawing at her heart. The burning threat of complete rejection. "How do you know that?"

"Because I have family too. I have a sister and a brother, and no matter what has happened for our entire lives, we have been there for each other. Sure there have been fights, all siblings fight, but in the end, we are inseparable. It's just how siblings are."

There was still the fear of Elsa hating Anna, but it was more tame now. Manageable. Even so, the red head still worried that her sister wouldn't share in her feelings, and being honest with her self she had to painfully admit that Elsa more than likely wouldn't. _I mean, what are the odds she's as much as a freak as me. Sure she's weird, but then there's me. I'm a whole new level of weird._ Anna's interior joke about herself made her a little bit more at ease. She asked Bulda "what if she doesn't feel the same way? I mean, even if she always will love me, what if she isn't _in_ love with me?"

Bulda was clearly expecting the question because she didn't have to think about her answer. "Then you have a sister, just like you do now. And there is always the chance she does feel the same way, so really, there is something to gain and nothing to lose."

_She_ _is_ _right._ So quickly her counselor had melted away any doubts in Anna's mind. _How is she so good at that? I mean, I guess it's kinda like, her job..._ Once again rising to the clouds, the red head felt her heart beating fast as she let her mind wander to her older sister. _I want to tell her now!_ _No, I have to tell her at the right time._ Anna's stomach churned as she poured over every possibility. That warm fuzz was not just resting in her stomach, but tangling around her heart and passing down her spine. It felt good, it kept her doubts at bay, it gave her clarity.

The girl's eyes lit up as she called out "I'll tell her tomorrow when we're alone after her birthday party!" Anna quickly covered her mouth and felt her cheeks go red. She muttered through her hands "I didn't mean to yell that out." A little embarrassed, the red head looked up at her counselor.

Bulda was smiling, clearly amused by Anna's outburst. "That's okay" she said, "that sounds like the perfect time to tell Elsa."

With even more reinforcement, Anna was unstoppable. She was quickly being overtaken with anticipation, excited for the moment to arrive. With a small stretch of the lips Anna replied "thank you." Anna pursed her lips, wondering if she should ask her next question. Her heart pounded lightly out of nervousness and her stomach churned a tiny bit but she decided to ask. "Why are you encouraging me to pursue my sister? Isn't it kind of weird?"

Bulda gave the red head a reassuring look and began "It isn't my place to judge. I am here to help you, not judge you."

Her small nervous just about gone, Anna simply said "oh, that makes sense." Looking over at the clock, the girl noticed her time was almost up with her counselor. "Time flies when you're having fun. Or when you are having a deep conversation about your feelings for your own sister." Anna giggle at her own joke, feeling clever.

Bulda even let out a smile and had to stop a small laugh, "it sure does. Would you like to come back again next week?"

Anna hadn't thought about that. _Well, if Elsa does hate me or needs space I'll probably really want someone to talk to about it, better safe than sorry, right?_ Again, the prospect of Elsa wanting nothing to do with her put a hole in Anna's heart. But then Bulda's words came back to her mind, _she is your sister, she will always love you._ Those words exuded comfort, giving Anna something to hold on to as she pushed away the thought of Elsa hating her. She replied to Bulda in a cheerful tone, "yes, I would rather keep an appointment for next week, just in case."

"Okay, it will be the same time a week from now. Any last minute thoughts you would like to discuss?"

The red head racked her brain but she actually couldn't think of anything. There was nothing bothering her, not after this session. "Nope, I think I'm done for the day."

Bulda smiled and got up, opening the door and allowing Anna to pass through first. As the girl left, the counselor waved and said "I'll see you next time."

Returning her smile Anna gave her a quick "bye" and skipped out the door. She was walking on sunshine, the walls of doubt were still down, letting in certainty. Once again, leaving the building, the sun shined right in Anna's eyes, blinding her. A dull ache shot through her head as she scanned the parking lot while her eyes adjusted to the blaring sun. Sure enough, Elsa was sitting in her car, waiting for her sister. Heart soaring higher than a kite, Anna ran for the shiny Honda Accord.

Arriving at the care, Anna swung the door open. She needed to hug Elsa now. Before even letting herself touch the seat, the red head was side tackling her sister. Her arms latched tightly around Elsa, while her body's weigh rested against the older girl's shoulder. Elsa seemed startled, but she quickly returned the hug as best she could, leaning her head on Anna's. An electrifying warmth surged though the red head, the contact with her sister burst her heart, spilling a pleasant warm goo all over her. "Hi, Elsa."

The platinum blonde chuckled to herself, quietly saying "hey, Anna." Elsa's hair tickled as it rubbed against Anna, giving the girl small goosebumps. Warm butterflies were in her stomach, forcing her lips into a genuine smile. "Wanna get going?"

Anna blushed and got in her seat properly, buckling her seat belt as she did. "Yeah, let's go."

Throughout the car ride, Anna couldn't help but look at Elsa. She was just to beautiful. Her light skin was perfectly smooth looking in the mid afternoon light. Her normally white-ish hair was shining a light yellow color whenever a ray of sun passed it over. _Any hair color would look good on her._ Right now Elsa's very light freckles were visible, which was rare, though Anna wished she could see them more. They seemed to complete the older girl's face, playing off her soft cheeks and curved nose perfectly with her milky skin.

Anna's stomach let out a loud growl as bubbles of gas traveled up it. Elsa laughed and asked "do you want to stop somewhere to eat?"

Blushing, the red head looked at her sister, who had just glanced away from the road to make eye contact. "Yeah, my stomach thinks that is a wonderful idea." She couldn't help but let out a laugh as she finished her sentence.

Elsa was laughing now, too. "Okay, where?"

"Hmm, somewhere yummy. I kinda feel like a sub right now."

"There is a Subway coming up, does that work?"

"That sound perfect!" Anna was squealing, excited by the prospect of eating, and not only that, but Elsa would be there too.

The platinum blonde stifled a laugh at her sister's squeal, "Subway it is."

The pair walked into Subway and Anna scanned the menu for the sub that would satisfy her stomach perfectly. She noticed the cookies and a crooked grin appeared on her face. _I could just order all of the chocolate chip cookies_. Elsa had apparently read Anna's mind, that or saw the red head staring wide eyed and drooling at the display of cookies near that cashier and teased her sister. "You can't just order a bunch of cookies."

frowning at Elsa's uncanny ability to read the thoughts that were apparently painted clearly on the red head's face when she wanted something, Anna let out a sigh. "Fine, fine. I'll get a sub _and_ a bajillion cookies."

The older girl let out a loud laugh and gave up talking sense into her sister, Anna's heart fluttered at Elsa's laugh. Watching her sister walk up to the counter to order, Anna let her eyes wander over the girl's body. Elsa was wearing a shirt on the back of which was a logo, for a game Anna presumed. She had no clue what the game was, but the logo was a black omega symbol, and the rest of the shirt was plain gray. The shirt was tight enough to loosely rest on Elsa's perfectly curved torso. Anna couldn't help but let her eyes wander farther south, drinking in and memorizing every sight. Elsa was wearing skinny jeans, ones of a fairly dark blue tint. The red head's heart pumped harder as she examined the lines of her older sister's legs, how her hips curved outward just right, not too much or too little. With a steadily rising inner temperature, the red head couldn't help but feast her eyes on Elsa's behind. _It is so perfect, I want to feel it! Whoa, okay, moving a bit fast, huh?_ Anna felt her core grow a little bit warm at the thought of feeling Elsa's rear. _Okay, now I have to stop this, it's time to order anyway._ Still, the girl couldn't help but drive herself crazy with the idea. A hammer was hitting her chest, giant butterflies attacked her stomach.

"And what would you like today?" The cashier's words startled Anna.

"What? Uh, right, um, hmm... I'll take the, um, six in chicken breast sub." As she said breast, an image of Elsa's C cup breasts popped into Anna's mind. _Okay, I gotta stop that. Am I turned on? Yeah, I'm turned on. I haven't even told Elsa how I feel and I am exciting myself._

Anna waded through the rest of her order, taking only a few seconds to decide on her toppings. After her sub was completed, the red head excitedly added, "oh! And two chocolate chip cookies please!" Her voice was closer to a squeal.

A soft tone riddle with laughter teased Anna's ears, "not a bajillion cookies?"

Anna looked at Elsa with a smirk and began to correct herself to the clerk, "actually, make that-"

She was cut off by Elsa, "no, two is fine." The platinum blonde was giggling and covering her mouth.

The two sat down at a booth, facing each other. They were mostly silent through the meal, but Anna didn't mind. She enjoyed just watching her goddess of a sister, it was enough to make her heart stop and her head spin. Still soaring on cloud nine, Anna ate her meal, starting with the cookies and savoring every bite.

When the red head bit into the first cookie she exaggerated her action as a joke. She cocked her head back, closed her eyes, and let out a faked moan of pleasure. Flavor erupted on her taste buds, sending them home with a rich and sweet tingle, leaving her mouth salivating and her taste buds crying out for more. Anna opened her eyes and looked at her sister, and to her great pleasure it appeared that the platinum blonde was made uncomfortable by her moan. Elsa's cheeks were red and she was pushed a little bit back into her seat; her head facing slightly down, avoiding eye contact. _Well I have done my job this meal, make Elsa uncomfortable._

Soon, however, it was Anna's turn to be embarrassed, not by something Elsa did. Instead, the bubbling red head managed once again to bring it upon herself. Anna had been staring googly eyed at her sister eating, occasionally making brief eye contact with those ice blue irises and quickly averting her gaze. At one point Elsa got some sauce on the corner of her mouth, which she appeared to not notice. Without thinking, Anna reached up and wiped the spot off of Elsa with her finger and began bringing it to her own mouth. Then she realized what she was doing. Quickly redirecting her hand to a napkin, Anna felt her cheeks grow warm. Her stomach doubled over and her head throbbed with her heart beat. _That was weird, why did I do that? Maybe Elsa thought it was just a joke?_ Embarrassment was holding Anna's head down, but she forced her eyes up to meet Elsa's. The platinum blond was giving her sister a quizzical looked that also betrayed a level of discomfort, though how much Anna couldn't tell. _Well this just got awkward._ In an attempt to sink through the ground, Anna forced herself as far back in her seat as possible, almost laying down. She wanted to disappear from in front of her sister, and hoped that Elsa didn't question her about it. That is not how she wanted to spill the beans about her feelings, not at all.

To Anna's great relief, Elsa finished her meal without another word, and by the time the two were done eating Elsa seemed to forget about it. _Or she is just pretending it didn't happen._ Anna was the one to speak when both had finished eating, "ready?"

Elsa looked up and nodded to Anna, getting up from her seat and leading the red head to the car. Anna was just beginning to think that her sister may be mad at her for her stupid behavior or something when Elsa looked back and shot a small, warm smile out. It hit the red head full force, melting her heart. Seeing Elsa smile was one of the best feelings in the world, it made all the suffering Anna had gone through by trying and failing to get close to Elsa worth it. It simply made her happy. The car ride home was silent, but there was an air of good spirits in the car, placating Anna.

Arriving home, Anna got out of the car and led the way into the house. She opened the door to find her parents in the kitchen, apparently preparing dinner. _What time is it?_ The red head took out her phone and checked the time. _A little past four, why is dad home so early?_ Anna's thoughts were interrupted by her mother calling to her, "Hey, your father came home early to help me make a nice dinner, it'll be ready in a couple hours or so." _Well, that answers that._

Elsa was suddenly at Anna's side. Anna called back to her mother, "Okay!"

The two girls starting walking almost in sync with each other to the stairs. Anna was excited to just go up and spend more time with her sister, even though she knew Elsa would more than likely be playing some sort of video game. That didn't bother Anna, she enjoyed watching, it was kinda like a movie, but longer, and more of Elsa's frustrated grunts when her character was killed. Just as they reached the stairs there father called out "where did you two get off to?" _Crap, I don't want them to know I'm seeing a counselor, they'll question me and I really don't want to lie to them_ _or_ _tell them about my feelings._

Anna began racing through ideas, what could she tell them so she didn't have to lie? Her brain simply wasn't working, she was too caught up in hoping Elsa wouldn't give away that it was for a counseling session and imagining the scenario that would create. Thankfully, Elsa's brain was working. "W-we j-just went f-f-for l-lunch." _Oh yeah, we did. Well, more of a dunch, but still._ Cool relief washed over Anna's body, slowing her heart rate down and clearing her mind of panicked thoughts. _Wait, why did Elsa stutter? It only comes around when she's really nervous..._ Anna let the thought fade out, deciding that it wasn't worth bringing it up.

The red head redirected her attention to her dad and noticed him giving Elsa a stern look. One that was just confusing to Anna, she didn't know what to make of it. _Why's he looking at her like she just committed a crime?_ In an attempt to answer her own question, Anna turned to Elsa. A tendril of confusion wrapped itself around Anna, cocooning her in a mystery. Elsa appeared to be in a rather large amount of turmoil. She was fidgeting in place, and had her eyes averted down, tears gently building up in her eyes. Anna felt the void come back, ripping a whole in her heart. It hurt to see Elsa hurting, especially when she had no clue what was going on. She wanted to help, but couldn't. The thought twisted Anna's stomach into a knot while her heart bled.

Elsa turned and started walking up the stairs, her head still hanging. Her sniffles were audible, but barely. Anna followed her, wanting to comfort her older sister, but unsure how.

Following Elsa into her room, Anna sat down on the bed beside her sister. Elsa didn't object, but rather remained indifferent of Anna's presence. Slowly, Anna rested her hand on her older sister's shoulder, rubbing small circles. In a quiet voice Anna asked her question, "what happened?"

Elsa looked at Anna, her eyes tearing to the point that they were shining. Small trails made paths down the older girl's cheeks, glistening in the light. Her lips were trembling, and still she was sniffling quietly. The sight of her sister's face like that made Anna feel cold and alone. Like she was failing as a sister, as a friend. At the same time, however, it gave her a driving need to fix it, it made her have to understand. "I-I'll tell you w-w-when I'm r-r-ready."

Those dreadful words again, last time Elsa had spoken them she never did tell Anna what was bothering her. _She still isn't ready, she will be eventually, just be patient and understanding with her._ Anna smiled at Elsa, a tear dripping from her own eye. Her heart burned like a thousand suns to know what was gnawing at her sister, what was making this lovely girl cry. But as much as it hurt, Anna knew the right move, the one that would help Elsa the most would be to accept the answer she had been given and comfort her. So that's what she did, despite every cell revolting, calling for answers. "Okay, I'll wait."

These three simple words seemed to give Elsa strength, to restore her, to reign in whatever hurt her. Elsa smiled at Anna, and then the red head knew for a fact she had done the right thing. She felt herself melt as Elsa initiated a hug. The action was so rare on Elsa's part, it spoke thousands of words when she did it. And she just did. Anna's heart fluttered, forgetting all about her confusion and need for answers. That was gone, now she just let her arms wrap around her sister, taking in the warmth that grew into a moving fuzz in her stomach. Taking in the scent of Elsa's hair. The words from Elsa's mouth tingled Anna's ear, sending waves of a calm electricity through her entire body. "T-thank you."

Anna didn't need anything else, she was right were she wanted to be, where she needed to be. She knew she was doing something right, and in the moment she was happy, happy with the knowledge that she was in the right place, helping her sister. _Where I should be, with Elsa._

 


	5. Chapter 5

Anna lay there on her bed, no particular thoughts going through her mind. She was laying on her back, on top of the blankets, staring at the ceiling. She felt floaty, like she was on water gently rocking her back and forth. Like she was slowly rising into the sky, like she was a cloud. Then a noise broke her bubble, sending her falling with a jerk back onto her bed. The red head's heart pumped at the sudden falling feeling, and she looked over at the door to see it ajar. _Who's there?_ Looking at the clock, Anna determined she couldn't read it, the numbers were incomprehensible at this time. She knew it must be late, though. Heart pumping and a spider crawling on her insides, Anna called out quietly.

"H-hello?" her voice was soft and shaken. _What if it's a burglar?_ Anna's heart raced at the thought, a cold sweat took her, consuming her in a icy blanket of worry. _Stop being ridiculous._

Then, to Anna's surprise, the silhouette of her older sister came out from the abyss of the hallway, slowly revealing herself. Anna's heart skipped what felt like fifty beats, her worry melting away with a wave of relief. Even though the red head was no longer worried, her heart rate still picked up, she was nervous. Elsa seemed to smile, quietly speaking. "Hi, Anna." Then she began walking towards the younger girl. Her hips were swaying in a way that Anna could swear was meant to be seductive. A hammer began swinging away at the red head's temples, she could hear the blood coursing through her veins.

"Elsa, what are you-" But she was cut off when the platinum blonde reached a strand of moonlight entering from the window. Elsa had her hand on her lips, as if to hush her sister, and it worked, oh it worked. It not only made Anna forget what she was saying, but what she was thinking.

A thousand different knots presented themselves in Anna's stomach, it was howling like a wolf at a full moon, the sight of Elsa was simply mesmerizing. Letting her own mouth hang open, Anna feasted on the sight of sweet eye candy that was her sister. Elsa's hair glowed white with an aura in the moonlight, the braid hanging over her left shoulder. Her skin, too, was shining in the dim, white light, making it appear even more smooth, even more perfect. It had become more than just skin, it was a carefully crafted and delicately placed silk. Elsa's entire body was glowing, giving her her rightful angelic aura, making her out to be some sort of goddess. She wore a plain white shirt that was bigger than the ones she normally had on, coming down to cover her waist.

Anna's heart stopped, she couldn't believe her eyes. Where Elsa's shirt ended, nothing began, just her smooth, irresistible legs. A cold, nervous sweat once again surrounding Anna, she continued to take in the sight. Her breathing became shallow. Elsa's legs were a magnet, pulling the red head's eyes in, making her look. She wanted to run her hands over them, to feel their softness, their forbidden pleasure. The thought made Anna's skin crawl up and down her spine, her heart exploding as it tried to keep up.

Finally refocusing her eyes, the red head looked up at her sister's face. She didn't know if it was just her imagining things, but Elsa's freckles seemed to be more pronounced than normal. They sat atop the pale skin, gently hugging the curves of Elsa's face, running no higher than the bridge of her nose. And those lips. They were thin and oh so soft and inviting looking. Even more, they were stretched into a crooked grin, teasing Anna's core. A warmth erupted between Anna's legs as she pondered the lips. The smile was dripping with sex, in fact, the way Elsa's entire body was posed and clothed was dripping with sex. _What's going on?_ Anna was shaking in her bed, failing miserably to control the monster of lust rampaging around inside of her.

Once again, the older girl began to slowly walk towards Anna's bed. _Again with the hip swaying, I'm going to pass out._ Through the noise of confusion coursing through her head, Anna's voice barely escaped her mouth. "Elsa, what are you doing?"

Stretching her grin even more, Elsa slowly got onto the bed, straddling Anna and pinning her down. Anna felt her heart flutter and a shiver run down her spine as Elsa brought their faces just inches apart. Warm breath slid down Anna's nose and cheeks, giving her goosebumps. An intense urge to lean slightly forward and kiss her older sister almost overtook Anna, but she reigned it in. Between her legs she could feel herself getting more excited by the minute. Elsa's voice brought in a great buzzing through Anna's ears, dispersing it down to her stomach were it settled and intensified. "You know you want this." _Yes, I do. But I'm still con-_

Anna's thoughts were cut off by the meeting of their lips. Elsa's were so warm and tender, just as Anna had imagined. Except a thousand times better, and that didn't even describe it. Everything melted away, everything surrounding them, every thought Anna had, every feeling Anna had except for those brought on by this kiss. A powerfully delightful shiver ran up and down Anna, doing laps and getting more intense as it went. Her stomach was jumping rope while doing flips, churning itself every which way. The red head's heart was working overtime, pumping faster than it had ever gone before, sending hot pleasure through every fiber of her being. Once again, the girl was floating in the air, only this time she was locked with her sister. There was no ground, there was no sky, only them in an infinite void, nothing could ever touch them, nothing could ever come between them again. Through all of the excitement running around in Anna's body she also felt another feeling. Comfort. A comfort that nothing could ever overcome, surrounding her and Elsa in a warm fuzz, an electricity dancing its way through the red head's body.

* * *

Anna jerked awake, her heart pounding from the intense dream she just had. "Okay, that was crazy." She pondered her dream about sharing a kiss with Elsa for a moment, it sent warm honey all over her insides, tingling her stomach. When the girl went to get out of bed she noticed the wetness between her legs. _Great I just had an erotic dream about kissing my sister, whom I'm in love with, and apparently it excited me while I slept._ Anna couldn't help but chuckle a little bit at the situation. After all, she had accepted that she was in love with her sister, she couldn't berate herself for having fantasies, could she?

Rising from her bed, the girl felt a slight weakness in her knees, presumably in relation to her rather pleasing dream. She pulled off her soiled panties and stripped out of her shirt, she hated sleeping with a bra on so that was already taken care of. Naked, she walked over to grab a towel, checking her phone as she went. It was early, but she knew after an dream that exciting she wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep. _Plus, eight is too unrealistic for me to wake up at?_ Anna laughed, knowing fully well that yes, it was far too early for her. _Oh well, I have to be at Elsa's ceremony in two hours anyway. Wait! Elsa's ceremony! It's Saturday!_

Almost forgetting to wrap herself in her towel, Anna ran out of the room, excitement taking over her actions. She beamed as she arrived at the bathroom, slipping in and locking the door. _Elsa is eighteen!_ The girl was practically bouncing off the ceiling as she want to start the water. She threw her towel onto a hook on the door and ran back to the sink, dancing in place as she spread toothpaste over her toothbrush. With bubbles forming and rising all over her insides and tickling her stomach, Anna quickly brushed her teeth, hand moving at lightning speed. Once she was content with her job of cleaning off her pearly whites, Anna turned back to jump into the shower. She didn't test the water, she didn't have to, even if it was cold she wouldn't have noticed with how excited she was.

Lathering her body in products, Anna happily hummed to herself in the shower. There was no specific tune, just whatever felt right. She let the water, which was hot after all, run down her body, first colliding with her back and trickling the rest of the way down. Anna was beaming as she finished up her shower, rinsing what was left of hair care products out, allowing the bubbly water to feed itself into the drain.

Anna stepped out of her shower, water that had been trapped in her typhoon of amber hair dripping in solid lines to the floor, soaking it. The girl bounced over to her towel, small splashes of water licking her ankles as she went. Glancing over at the fogged mirror, Anna saw a blurry red ghost frolicking where her head should be, and a blurred but still curvy body following in suit. Normally she would stop and clean off the mirror to examine her own body, but not this morning. There was no need to, not yet. _I'll make sure I look perfect after I put on my dress!_ At this thought, Anna ripped her towel off of the hook and wrapped it around her body.

Wiggling with excitement, barely able to conceal squeaks of joy, Anna skipped out the door and to her room. She swung open the door and burst through, closing it fast behind her. She looked over at her dress, heart beating a mile a minute. The dress was so beautiful, she had picked it out special for this occasion.

The top was black, tailored to fit the gentle curve of Anna's torso and breasts perfectly, smoothly coating her skin. A curved green leaf design graced the chest of the dress, a red rose at its center. Rather than sleeves, the dress had thin cloth that would rest on the shoulders, gently caressing the skin, leaving the arms exposed. A small sown in belt separated the bottom half of the dress, which was vertical stripes of various shades of green, some of which had simpler leafing patterns running their length. The dress was simply perfect for her. The green color would play off her hair like magic, bringing her freckles out for the world to adore. _I can't wait to show Elsa the dress!_

Giggling, Anna tore off her towel off, and wrapped it around her hair after quickly drying herself off. She plopped down on her bed, imagining Elsa's reaction to her dress. She could imagine Elsa's shy smile, her lightly blushing cheeks. _She is so adorable when she's nervous._ Just thinking about that smile made Anna's stomach flutter with butterflies. She couldn't wait any more. Tearing herself off the bed, the girl crossed the room with one jump to her dress and threw in on with almost one motion. It was soft and inviting against her skin. The shoulder straps were like gentle hands resting on her exposed skin. Anna caught herself imagining that they were Elsa's hands, gently massaging her, sending tingling goosebumps down her arms. _Okay, I can't go overboard with these fantasies, as much as I might like to._

Pouting slightly at her thought, Anna went to leave her room. Quickly her little pout was traded away for a grin as a new thought graced her mind. _I can't let Elsa see me until I'm completely ready!_ And at that, the bubbling red head checked the hall, and finding it empty skipped over to the bathroom once again. She yanked the door open and quickly filed inside, heart pumping hoping Elsa didn't see her. The red head's stomach buzzed when she caught the mirror. _Not to be full of myself, but I look perfect! Well, almost._ Undoing the towel from her hair, the girl looked at the tangled mess on her head. It appeared extra red because of it being damp, giving it a shining rusted maroon appearance.

_Okay, how should I do my hair? Pony tail? Ew, no, umm.. Straight down? Pig tails?_ Anna's heart shrieked in joy at the thought of pig tails. They were her favorite, she knew they looked a little childish, but she didn't care, they were fun! _Plus, I remember Elsa saying she likes them_. The thought sent shivers down Anna's spine, the thought of Elsa admiring her, that perfect goddess admiring the red head's own beauty. _And I want to admire_ all _of you, Elsa._

Anna got to work on her hair, humming a bird's tune as she went. Her spirits were higher than a cloud, soaring above and looking down at the miniature world, taking in the beautiful sight of its vast expanse. It gave her a feeling of a surreal, calming happiness, forcing her hums to inadvertently grow steadily louder. Anna didn't have to think about it when she did her hair in twin pigtails, she had done it a thousand times before and it was muscle memory now.

A knock on the door rang through the room, bringing a halt to Anna's happy humming. "Anna, are you almost done? I need to get ready."

Panic set into Anna, she couldn't let Elsa see her yet, she wasn't ready. Her heart pumped faster and her palms grew slightly sweaty. Looking in the mirror Anna saw that her braids were actually done. _I think that means I'm ready, actually._ Feeling a little dumb at her eagerness to panic about small things, Anna called back to her sister. "Just one more minute." Anna did one more check in the mirror to make sure she looked perfect. Smiling into it, she was contented with how her teeth look, and her read locks brought out her freckles perfectly. The dress made her hair look redder than normal, too, which is exactly what she was going for. Pleased with her appearance, Anna turned to open the door.

Elsa was standing at the door in just a towel and blushed slightly when Anna opened the door. She gave a small wave and said "hi."

Smiling widely at her older sister, Anna proudly asked "how do I look?" Her voice exuding excitement. The red head blushed when she noticed that her sister was in only a towel, her heart fluttering. The red read got a powerful urge to rip the towel off of her sister's body, but exercising excellent self restraint, she didn't.

Elsa was simply stunned by her sister. The green dress contrasting her gorgeous amber locks of hair that were flowing on her shoulders, braided into twin pigtails was enough to make the platinum blonde go crazy. But there was more, Anna's dress fit her gentle curves so perfectly, revealing no cleavage but hugging her breasts tenderly. Her skin, which was tanned, was radiantly smooth, flowing up her arms, midway through which freckles started. The older girl felt her head pounding. _Conceal, don't feel. I can't drool over Anna._ But she couldn't help but look. Those freckles sealed the deal. Elsa was done for, there was no way she could stop herself from going googly eyed over Anna right now. Her sister had outdone herself. Those rich teal eyes poured life into the hallway, glimmering with excitement and appearing more of a green color due to the dress. _Anna seems more excited for today than I am._

In an attempt to reign herself back in from the flood of feelings slowly breaking down her barricades, Elsa tried to respond to Anna. Her heart was swinging a mallet at her head, and her palms decided now would be a good time to start sweating. Fighting the powerful undertow of feelings, Elsa repeated her father's words over and over in her mind. _Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. You disgusting monster. Never let it out._ With a shaky, quiet voice, Elsa piped something up. "G-g-great." _Tell her more, tell her she is a goddess amongst people! No! Conceal it, don't feel it._

The older girl sorely wished she could bring herself to say more to Anna, to tell her exactly what she was feeling, but she couldn't. She was behind her cold, tall, thick walls, unable to contact the outside world. Cut out from happiness, but she had to hide herself. The only times a light ever shined through the darkness was when Anna was happy. Her happiness seemed to burn brighter than a thousand suns, penetrating all of Elsa's hopeless defenses, bringing light to her face. And right now, Anna was happy at her older sister's one word of praise.

_Elsa thinks I look great!?_ Beaming at Elsa, Anna pulled her into an embrace, tightly wrapping her arms around the older girl. Anna pressed her cheek against Elsa's neck affectionately, feeling the platinum blonde return the hug. Warm fuzz shot through Anna, vibrating her insides, making her feel goofy all over. She quietly whispered into Elsa's ear, "thank you." After a few more moments of hugging, Anna decided she should let her older sister get back to getting ready for her big day, so she pulled away and almost shouted "I'll see you downstairs!"

It didn't take long for the overly excited red head to select Cocoa Puffs for breakfast and pour herself a bowl, almost spilling the milk in the process. She sat down at the table where her father was in the middle of eating his own cereal. It looked bland and boring. _Cocoa Puffs are much better than Cheerios._ "Good morning, dad!" Anna practically squealed as she shoveled in her first bite of chocolaty goodness. Like always, the flavor almost overwhelmed her taste buds, sending loud calls of pleasure through her mouth. Saliva formed in anticipation for the next bite.

"Mornin', Anna." Her father looked at her while she struggled to get a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. "What's got you so excited?"

Taking her dad's comment as a joke, Anna giggled, almost spilling her food out of her mouth. She chewed her food and swallowed it before answering the man. "Elsa's graduation and birthday, duhhh." Anna's heart sank a tiny bit, but left her soaring high. _Oh no! I forgot to wish Elsa happy birthday this morning!_ She decided she would do it once she saw her sister next.

"Oh, right." Came the simple response. Anna's father didn't forget about Elsa's birthday and graduation, but he played it off like he did. In truth, however, he simply didn't care.

Talking through giggles at what she took as another joke from her father, the red head teased "of course you forgot."

Her dad let out a simple, playful grunt in response. He and Anna weren't the closest father daughter pair, but they were pretty close. She felt like she could talk to him about almost anything. Anything except one thing, the reason she went to counseling, her feelings for Elsa. The red head couldn't imagine him hating her or even getting angry at her feelings, she just didn't want to go through that awkward conversation.

Just then, Elsa emerged from the staircase, dressed up for her graduation in khakis since it was required from the school. But they looked so good on her, Anna couldn't take her eyes off Elsa and found herself beginning to stare. Heart pumping and stomach flipping, Anna quickly regained herself and shouted at Elsa "happy birthday, Elsa! You're eighteen now!" The younger girl wanted to get up to hug her sister, but her Cocoa Puffs were calling her name, keeping her grounded on her seat until she finished them. Spilling a few drops of the now chocolaty milk down her chin, Anna took another bite of her cereal.

The platinum blonde shied her icy blue eyes away, averting her gaze to the ground and very quietly replied with a simple "thank you."

Anna noticed her father didn't so much as glance at Elsa. _What is going on between those two? Why didn't I see these things before? First what happened last night, now not even acknowledging Elsa._ Confusion lightly grasping Anna and tugging her to one side, she sat there. She managed to stand her ground, however, and eventually pushed her lack of understanding of the situation away, allowing her to once again rise to the clouds. That familiar bubbly feeling took over Anna's body, making her barely able to control her excited anticipation. Anna's mother hurriedly walked out of her room calling that it was time to go, causing the three others to get up and head to the door.

The car ride to the school, where the graduation ceremony would be taking place, was mostly quiet. Anna's parents sat in the front, her mother driving, while Anna and Elsa sat in the back together. Only when Anna would get lost in her own thoughts and absentmindedly hum out loud would the silence be broken. Every time it happened, Elsa would look over at Anna an laugh silently, sending warm water over Anna's heart, melting it. She loved that laugh, any laugh really, coming from her older sister. It's what she lived for. It meant those walls Elsa had built to keep herself alone in the dark were tumbling down, that Anna was making a difference. _And when you love someone, you just want them to be happy._

Arriving at their destination, Anna felt a pang through her heart as Elsa had to split off from her family almost immediately to get to her position. "Good luck!" Anna yelled after her, causing Elsa to look back briefly and give a small wave and smile. As the older girl walked away, cap and gown in hand, Anna felt a surge of pride run through her body. _My sister is graduating high school!_

The ceremony was unbelievably boring. For the first hour or so she had to sit through multiple monotonous speeches that, as far as she was concerned, were completely useless. The red head thought she was going to go insane, her mind was begging for a distraction. But there was none to be found, all Anna could to was sit and wait. And wait. And wait. _Okay, how long does this speech go on?_ Sighing, the girl slumped in her seat, expressing her great displeasure with her situation to the entire world. _Is it possible to die of boredom? Because I think I'm about to._ She felt like she was wandering a baron desert, nothing around for miles, nothing there to take her mind off of the blistering heat and stinging thirst to do something, anything.

A buzzing sensation tickled the red head's leg. Anna picked up her phone, which since she didn't have pockets in her dress, was sitting on her lap. She noticed she had two text messages. The first text was from Kristoff, it read "What time should I come over?" Thinking about how many aeons she had already spent in her sister's graduation ceremony, Anna guessed it couldn't be that many more years. _But I don't know how long Elsa can stay around people, so maybe he should come over later._

She typed up a response, "At 7, we can all watch a movie".

The red head opened her other text message, it was from Rapunzel. "Hey! Tell Elsa I said congratz on her graduation!" Anna smiled at the sentiment from her friend. Rapunzel scarcely talked to Anna's sister, but still wanted to congratulate Elsa on finishing high school.

Anna typed up her response, still smiling. "I will, thanks!"

Yet again, the red head's phone buzzed, this time in her hand just after she had hit send. It was Kristoff again, "Ok, I'll bring pizza."

Anna put her phone back down and allowed her attention to settle once again on the ceremony. To her great relief they had just started calling names. The one exciting moment in the entire thing would happen soon, the reason she came. Anticipation speeding up her heart, the red head scanned for her sister, and she found her in line by the stage. _Only a couple more names before Elsa!_

Anna squealed with excitement as she heard the name. Elsa walked over from her position at the edge of the stage. The red head feasted her eyes on the sight of her sister, who was now in her cap and gown, the black of the gown trailing behind as she walked. Elsa's skin seemed to glow more white with the uniform, the hat bringing out the platinum white of her hair. It was magical, captivating, irresistible. As the goddess crossed across the stage, she took full control of Anna's mind. The red head couldn't help but yell out at her sister, "Yay Elsa!" Her voice rang through the gymnasium echoing back. Elsa was clearly caught off guard because she tripped a little bit as the voice shot in her direction. Anna flinched in her seat, a little bit of guilt punching her heart as her older sister almost fell, but it was quick to cease fire as a small bout of laughter escaped her mouth. She could only imagine the embarrassment present on her sister's face, which pushed her into a full on fit of laughter.

The rest of the ceremony seemed to fly by, Anna was too overtaken by the thought of wrapping her arms around her sister, feeling their bodies press together. And the thought of Elsa opening her gifts, those blue eyes lighting up, a smile stretching wide on her lips drove Anna wild with excitement. She didn't even notice the rather long list of names being called one by one, the world had melted away, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

Leaving the school, Anna and her parents met with Elsa back at the car. Getting a running start, Anna took a leap into Elsa's arms, nearly knocking the older girl over. So many emotions pulsed through Anna's veins that she couldn't identify any of them, all she knew was that it overall felt good. It felt right. "Congratulations, Elsa. I love you!" Anna's voice was soft, barely a whisper. Saying those words made the younger girl's heart buzz and her stomach jump in joy. She wanted to shout them out as loudly as she could. _But I want it to mean something more. I want it to mean I'm in love with her._

Elsa regained her balance and returned the hug. The feeling of Anna's bosom against her own made her chest and face heat up drastically. _Conceal it._ But she couldn't. Elsa couldn't resist feeling her sister's warmth, letting it melt away the ice cold worry inside her. Letting Anna's embrace pull her onto a raft in the stormy ocean of all of her problems. Everything she had built up over the years, everything she wanted to tell Anna but couldn't; and now college, hanging like a boulder over her head, threatening to crush her. She didn't want to leave home, but she would have to, there was no way their father would let her stay at home. _Because he hates me, and I deserve it. I'm a screw up, the bad egg, the practice run._ But all of that was left below her as she was grabbed by Anna's affectionate hug and words, lifting her to the clouds. The words that Elsa longed to hear every day, that she could so rarely bring herself to say back. _She loves me._

A rare moment of emotional clarity and ease hit Elsa, a moment where she could return the sentiment, where the hand grabbing her voice, causing her stutter released her, freed her. "I love you too." Immediately the embrace tightened, Anna almost crushing Elsa's ribs. The platinum blonde didn't care though, and followed her sister in suit, squeezing as hard as she could. It was just them for a moment, nothing else. Just the two of them on calm waters, waving the storm that had plagued Elsa for so long goodbye. Elsa noticed tears running down her cheeks, but not of sorrow, no, these ones were something else. Something fuzzy and pleasant, something she hadn't truly felt for a long time. She felt loved. The older girl couldn't help but let a smile stretch the expanse of her face, leaving her in bliss.

Then a harsh voice slapped her back to reality, the voice that called in the wind, called in the rain, and made the waters choppy and cold. The voice that had destroyed her on the inside for years, trapping her in her ice cold cocoon of terrible reality. Of loneliness. The voice of her father slapped her ears "time to go, now." The words sounded innocent to anyone else, but they hit Elsa hard, stabbing her in the heart. She knew what they were meant to say and they did. They said no more, no more feeling, no more happiness. Get away from that beautiful red head and never talk to her. Don't let yourself feel anything. Don't let yourself love. They said that she didn't deserve it, that she never would. _And it's true. I don't._ The weight of the words pulled Elsa down like a monster from the abyss, allowing the freezing water to choke her and surround her once again. The tears on her cheeks turned to tears of despair, a small sniffle escaping her nose.

Anna broke from the embrace, leaving Elsa even colder. The red head turned around, grabbing her sister's hand and skipping off to the car. Those perfect red braids glowed with fire in the light, bouncing up and down as their obviously overjoyed owner moved. Elsa quietly let herself be pulled along, secretly taking in every touch from Anna's hand, feeling their skin contact.

Taking her place in the back seat, Elsa strapped herself in, Anna loudly crashing into the car from the other side to sit next to her sister.

Once again a soft, gentle hand took Elsa's, at first causing the older girl to tense up a little bit, but she soon relaxed. Anna squeezed her older sister's hand tightly, which to Elsa meant that she'll always be there for her, no matter what happens. _She must see the stupid tears running down my face._ A whole opened up in Elsa's heart at she thought about if Anna would actually be there, if she could tell her. _No, you can't, don't even think about it! You are a disgusting misfit!_ Silently berating herself, the platinum blonde let her words sting her heart, she had to, she had nothing to defend herself with. Elsa's eyes became misty and hot.

The car ride involved Elsa occasionally looking away from the window, usually seeing Anna looking over at her, beaming. The entire time she longed to be as happy as her younger sister, but her father would never let that happen. No, being happy would mean having a family that cared, it would mean being close to Anna and not fearing her father. Not hearing those words ripping through her body like bullets, tearing her apart. Not being herself.

No sooner had the car stopped than had Anna jumped out, yelling to Elsa. "Come on" she called out, "I have something for you!"

Elsa followed her sister into the house, secretly excited about receiving a gift, it was so rare for her. "Okay, slow down." The barriers of turmoil her dad managed to build in seconds started collapsing around Elsa. _Even by just existing Anna can undo my pain._

"They're in my room." Anna's voice was like a bird's song to Elsa's ears. _Wait, "they"?_ Anticipation growing inside of her, Elsa went to follow her sister up the stairs. Anna led the platinum blonde into the room, and whirled around, a grin gracing her lips and stretching her cheeks. Elsa was mystified by the way her sister's dress swung around, the motion copied by her braids of hair. She was so happy, so excited to give Elsa something, so selfless. _She is perfect. Stop it, conceal, don't feel. Don't feel._ But she couldn't, once again, the need to feel was playing tug of war on her heart. It fought back her logic and the fears of her father. Elsa's stomach contorted violently, sending pulses through her body. The nonstop tugging on her heart was growing, slowly pulling off her mask, slowly revealing her. _I can't let this happen, no._ "Here!" Anna's voice rang in Elsa's ears, almost being lost in the older girl's interior battle.

The ear to ear smile on Anna's face once again wrestled Elsa's pain, pinning it down for the moment. Outstretched arms held two wrapped items, one a small object _the exact size of a PS4 game_ , and one was a larger box. Elsa's hands shook as she went to grab the two gifts, and she took them slowly. She was nervous again, a throbbing pulsing through her body. "T-thank you." The older girl couldn't help but let a stupid grin run across her face. The one she got exclusively when she was around Anna.

Beaming, Anna shouted "open the big one first!" She just wanted to see Elsa in the dress.

Giggling softly, Elsa agreed with a nearly silent "alright." She placed what she presumed was a Playstation 4 game on the bed for later opening and took the larger box in her hands, delicately tearing away the wrapping paper. She could hear the hum of Anna's excitement bouncing around the room as the paper revealed a white box. Elsa's heart was pounding hard, she wasn't scared, no, for the first time in forever she was genuinely excited. Opening the box revealed a beautiful blue dress folded expertly to avoid any damage. A squeal escaped Anna's mouth as Elsa opened the box, making the older girl let out a rather loud chuckle. Elsa lifted the dress into the air, revealing its full length. It was beautiful, exactly her color and style, she feasted her eyes on the fabric. It was so soft, almost like silk running through her fingers. The platinum blonde's face lit up as she examined the dress.

A nervous voice danced into Elsa's ears, "do you like it?" Anna began twiddling her thumbs waiting for the response.

Elsa didn't make her sister wait long, with an uncharacteristic ease in her voice she yelled out "I love it!" And looked up at Anna, who let out another small squeak in response. Elsa wanted to initiate a hug, something she rarely did. It melted Elsa's heart that Anna got such a dress for her, she wasn't even one to wear dresses, but she would certainly wear this one. It was gorgeous. Not letting fear overtake her, Elsa held her arms out for a hug, allowing Anna to close the distance between them. Elsa's wasteland of a heart filled instantly with life, green spreading across the expanse. She wrapped her arms tightly around her younger sister, feeling the beat of Anna's heart on her own. Ever so gently, Elsa whispered. "Thank you." The platinum blonde felt safe, like her father's words could never touch her, Anna would protect her. _If only you knew the truth, Anna..._

Then a voice almost broke Elsa's ear drum, "I wanna see you in it!" Anna yanked away from the hug.

Elsa smiled at her sister, "Okay, I'll be right back."

Secretly a little disappointed Elsa didn't change in front of her, Anna gave a high pitched "I'll be here." And at that, the older girl vanished to her own room to change. Meanwhile, Anna stayed in her room, contemplating when best to tell Elsa about her feelings, also allowing herself just a few moments to worry about why Elsa seemed to upset in the car.

After throwing off her cap and gown and stripping out of those annoying khakis, Elsa took the dress in her hands and slid it on. It felt amazing, she was already in love with it; it made her feel beautiful, something she rarely, if ever felt. The platinum blonde made her way down the hall back to her sister's room, her new dress lightly tickling her skin.

Once Elsa opened the door she saw Anna's eyes light up, new life swimming out of her teal irises. The red head's jaw dropped, causing Elsa's cheeks to grow hot and red. Fighting with all her will power to not give in to her emotions, the platinum blonde stood still, not wanting to think anything of Anna's reaction. _Anna is just going crazy over the dress, she loves dresses, she is NOT drooling over you._ The red head was now starting to drool a little bit and Elsa began to feel a little uncomfortable. She wasn't used to people staring at her, she wasn't used to much attention at all. But here Anna was, who always gave her full attention, who now had her eyes trained on her sister. Anna who said she'd always be there for Elsa, who was the only person for years to say they love Elsa. Who made Elsa happy in her world of misery. _I can't feel this way._ But she was so beautiful, and so caring. She was exactly what Elsa needed. _Conceal, don't feel._ Another raging battle erupted inside of Elsa, she had to fight to hold back her emotions once again. Building a wall was always her method, she never deviated. The flood of feelings was pummeling Elsa's wall, threatening to break through, but she wasn't going to let that happen. The void in the platinum blonde's heart and the tension in her stomach grew as the battle raged on.

"You look amazing Elsa! Like a goddess! Like, like.." Anna couldn't choose between what to compare Elsa to next.

A nervous crimson rushed over Elsa's face and her heart faltered for a moment at Anna's words. Smiling, Elsa giggled a little and said "thank you."

"Okay! Okay! Now for gift number two!" Came Anna's excited, melodic voice.

Still blushing, Elsa conceded to her sister's request. "Okay, breathe, Anna."

The red head laughed readily at Elsa's jest, sending the older girl's heart wild. The floodgates were breaking, Elsa's defenses were slowly being torn down. _I can't let that happen._ Stomach churning, Elsa fought to protect herself from her storm of feelings. She reached out to open her second present, hands shaking slightly. As if handling a newborn baby, Elsa gently maneuvered her hands to slide her gift out of its protective wrapping. Her heart was skipping every other beat, and stopped dead when she read the title. _Infamous! She got me Infamous! How'd she know?_ For a moment, Elsa forgot about her floodgates, forgot about her struggle. Excitement overtook her. Anxious to play her new game, Elsa looked up at Anna, who was smiling and concealing more small, mouse like squeaks of excitement.

Anna happily gloated "Kristoff helped me pick out the game, it's the one you wanted, right?"

A goofy smile intruding on her face, Elsa giggled a tiny bit and said "yeah, it's the one." _You're the one._ Elsa felt a pang through her heart as she broke eye contact with her sister's eyes, teal and filled with glee, filled with love. _I can't feel that. I can't want her._ But the gates were breaking, the water was pouring in, and it was relentless. It was warm, inviting as the leaks brushed against Elsa, but she fought. She had to stay in her cold cage, the only one she had known for the longest time. But there was light coming through the cracks, Anna's light. It warmed Elsa, making her slightly less afraid of the repercussions of what was banging at her door. Still, the platinum blonde couldn't open it. _You can't feel. Stop._

Anna interrupted Elsa's creeping thoughts, "come on! Let's go play it!" The red head promptly grabbed Elsa's hand, pulling her older sister.

The touch sent a wave of warmth through the older girl, allowing her heart to melt slightly, ripping away a layer of her defenses. Anna's skin was so smooth, so soft, her hands so gentle yet strong. Her red pig tales danced for Elsa, completely captivating the platinum blonde's mind. Elsa was struggling, she couldn't lose this battle, nothing would ever be the same if she did. _Anna won't want anything to do with me and father will probably kick me out. He is on the verge of doing so already._ The platinum blonde's stomach began to eat itself alive, a dragon flew through her body burning everything in sight, eating away at her sinking heart. She was losing.

Without any warning, Elsa found herself in her own room, Anna twirling around with a grin that would warm even the coldest of hearts. She tightly wrapped her arms around her older sister, enveloping Elsa in a cocoon of affection. The amber hair was tickling the platinum blonde's face, teasing her cheeks with gentle caresses. Elsa couldn't help but return the hug, her emotions were pouring through her defenses like water through a chain link fence. _I have to conceal it. My feelings are disgusting and they have to be buried, like father says._

The smiling red head plopped herself down on the bed while Elsa went to set up her Playstation. Once the TV was on and the system started up she put the game in and turned around to see Anna patting a spot on the bed right next to herself. Elsa's heart began to race and her palms became sweaty. Slowly, she began to walk to her spot, her stomach revolting. As the older girl neared the bed her breathing became shallower. No matter how many times Elsa laid down next to Anna on her bed, she never got over her initial nervousness. She was scared that for some reason, this time something would go wrong, scared that she would finally lose her constant battle.

Anna's heart was soaring as her older sister took her place on the bed. The red head cuddled herself up next to Elsa, resting her head on the older girl's shoulder. Elsa felt a radiant warmth exuding from the body next to her, bathing her in fuzz that tickled her skin. A calm electricity gently weaved its way around Anna's stomach, making her fill to the brim with a nice giddy feeling. _It's just like when I watched Pirates with Elsa. I was in heaven, I am in heaven._ Anna let her mind wander for a little, wondering when she should tell her sister about her feelings. _Maybe now? Or after Kristoff leaves. Yes, the perfect end to such an amazing day!_ The red head blushed a little bit while imagining the possible scenarios after telling Elsa. Keeping to only the positive choices, Anna let these thoughts roam her brain, filling her spirit with hot air.

When she first sat down, Elsa's breathing was uneven, and Anna noticed, but this was often times the case. The red head knew that her sister would become more calm, and that is just what she did. Over time, Elsa's breathing became more steady and her body more relaxed, save those times she jerked around due to an apparently stressful moment in her game. Anna was soaring on cloud nine, far above the earth, out of reach of worry, above everything. Her heart was pattering a mile a minute and her body filled with warm honey.

Even with the distraction of her new game Elsa was fighting tirelessly to not let herself feel anything. But Anna's body up against hers was pushing back, and hard. It was like trying to play a brick wall at tennis, sooner or later she was going to lose. But Elsa fought with all her strength, her heart was being yanked back and forth by ropes, her stomach churning at the sight. Somewhere in the back of her mind Elsa knew it was futile attempting to keep herself hidden, but she had to fight, and she would until her last breath if she had to.

The two girls stayed there until Kristoff came over. All the while, Elsa was slowly losing her war, slowly losing control while Anna soared higher and higher, she could never be shot down. They told little jokes to each other and Elsa occasionally explained something about the game that went right over Anna's head. Elsa was clearly losing her interior battle by evening, the ease and comfort of talking to Anna and having the girl so close was melting away the walls of ice trapping her in lonely darkness. Driving away the thought that she could never be happy, making her think that maybe, just maybe she could be.

That evening at a little past seven there was a knock on Elsa's door. Anna excitedly called out "that's Kristoff!"

Elsa cleared her throat and spoke around the tornado of emotions ripping her apart. "C-come in."

Kristoff entered holding the box for a large pizza. He turned to Elsa and took a playful bow "happy birthday, and congratulations on graduating." He spoke in a playfully regal tone, as if the platinum blonde was a queen.

A blush so deep it could be seen from miles around covered Elsa's face and when she spoke there as clear embarrassment in her voice. "Thank you."

Anna beamed. "Hi Kristoff!" she said as she waved to her close friend.

Keeping his jest, the burly blonde took a bow to Anna saying "my lady."

Anna couldn't stifle an uproar of laughter, and Elsa couldn't help but let out a laugh as well. She felt the mood lightening, the raging battle between her mind and heart momentarily taking a back seat. "Elsa, do you wanna watch The Lion King? I mean, it's up to you, after it is your big day!" the red head quietly asked her sister.

The older girl's heart melted away instantly, she had to choke back tears. Memories of when the two were little came pouring through her mind, bringing with them a flood of emotions. The girls would watch The Lion King on every special occasion, it was their favorite movie to watch together. They were so close. But that was when Elsa was happy, _before I told father.._ A combination of affectionate nostalgia, bitter regret, and overpowering sorrow took Elsa by the hand, pulling the strings of her heart. _You can be like that again, close to Anna, happy. No you can't, you don't deserve it, you can't let yourself too close to her, you're already walking thin ice. Even now your father is about to explode, just at you hanging out with your sister, and who knows how she'd take it?_ Grief crippled Elsa, grabbing her throat on the inside. _I can't be happy._ In a weak, barely audible voice, Elsa responded to Anna. "L-Lion King is g-good."

Anna squealed with excitement again, pulling on her twin pigtails. _She is so adorable. No, stop! Conceal, don't feel!_ Elsa's flood gates were leaking, they were splintering and breaking. She couldn't last much longer and she knew it, but she couldn't just tell Anna to leave. The older girl's stomach churned, her head began to spin. She was trying to find a way to add to her barricade, anything, but there was simply nothing. All she could do was push as hard as she could to keep it stable.

Two voices rang through Elsa's ears "Elsa, are you okay?" Anna and Kristoff spoke almost in unison, concern clear in their voices.

Forcing a fake smile through her dark world of despair, Elsa looked at the two of them, eyes red and puffy and choked out "Yeah."

Anna squeezed Elsa's hand, sending a bout of warmth through the older girl's body. Whispering ticklishly into Elsa's ear, Anna reassured her sister, "you can tell me when you're ready." The words helped a tiny but noticeable amount, making Elsa's smile turn real for a moment.

Before the pizza was divided between the three, Anna bolted out of the room to get the movie. Unlike her copy of Pirates of the Caribbean, the girl knew exactly where this one was. She was back in under a minute, quickly popped the movie in, placing Elsa's new game gently in its case, and settled herself back down next to Elsa. Kristoff had taken post on a desk chair he pulled up to near the bed. When Anna was back, the box holding a deliciously greasy cheese pizza was opened, revealing the marvelous pie.

Not being particularly hungry anymore, Elsa grabbed just one slice and forced it down, attempting to lose herself in the movie. Anna, on the other hand scarfed down her entire third of the pizza in minutes. All three were mostly silent, except for the occasional outburst of laughter from Anna or Kristoff. As for Elsa, whenever she let herself focus on the movie the same overpowering emotions from before filled her body. She couldn't take these memories, along with the yearning to let herself feel. But she couldn't feel, she had to keep it inside, she had to be alone. It was safer that way. She put her feelings outside once befre, entrusting them to her father, and he broke her down entirely. He destroyed her happiness, salting the earth where it was so it could never grow back.

Anna suddenly grabbed Elsa, pulling the two closer together and snuggling up to her older sister. The skin of her cheek was so soft on Elsa's shoulder, the amber locks of hair teasing Elsa's own cheek. She had to make it stop, but she couldn't bring herself to push Anna off of her. She couldn't bring herself to hurt Anna. _And if you feel you will! Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show._ Elsa was losing her battle, her struggle against the feelings coursing through her veins.

Then it happened, Elsa's barricade was washed away, lost. She had lost her battle, and her emotions were flowing in, overpowering her. After years, the older girl couldn't fight herself anymore, she couldn't stop herself from believing her thoughts. _You can be happy again. You don't have to be all alone. You can tell her._ Nothing broke inside of Elsa, but rather was rebuilding itself. Her heart had been broken for so long that she had forgotten what it was like to have a healthy one. Burning, pleasurable hope pulsed through her body as Elsa let herself be happy, hold her sister. _I can be happy. I am happy. I don't have to hide._ No longer taunted by the old memories and false hope of happiness, Elsa let herself get lost in the movie. She didn't have to be alone, she had Anna.

Allowing the calm to overtake her storms for the first time in forever, Elsa slid into a slow sleep, and for the first time in years it was peaceful. She watched the screen displaying the movie blur and fade into oblivion, feeling at peace.

When the movie ended, Kristoff looked over at his friends, who were now asleep in each other's arms. _It's nice to see them both looking genuinely happy. I haven't seen Elsa like that._ Checking the time, Kristoff saw it was almost nine. _Time for me to go anyway._ He decided not to disturb the sisters, but rather quietly got up, put the DVD back in its case and silently headed for the door.

As the well built blonde opened the door, he was face to face with Anna's father, who was apparently just about to knock on the door. "Hey, Mr. Arendelle, I was just headed out!" He said cheerfully.

The man acknowledged Kristoff with a quick nod, his eyes trained on something else behind Kristoff. What it was Kristoff didn't know, but he decided it wasn't important and made his way out.

Once the boy had left, Mr. Arendelle woke up his daughters.

Jerked awake by a loud, stern voice slapping her in the ears, Elsa looked around. Dread set in, the kind that takes someone over, that crushes them into a pancake. "Get up. Anna, out; Elsa, a word. Now." Anna seemed confused but obliged her father's orders, taking a glance back at her sister as she left. The younger girl's teal eyes were ridden with concern as contact was broken by her dad slamming the door. Elsa looked up at her father, fury burned in his eyes, sending heat rays to vaporize Elsa. _No no no no no no, you let yourself feel, this is what happens!_ All of her certainty, of her new found happiness quickly ejected the platinum blonde, leaving her alone once again. Elsa's heart began to beat hard, sending loud thumps through her body. Her father began to yell. "What was that!? Why are you touching my daughter!? Don't you dare infect her with your repulsive ways! What did I tell you!?"

Fear surrounded Elsa with a moat of lava, threatening to burn her at a moment's notice. She was alone again, trying to prepare for the weight of her father's next words, trying to not break, to survive. The man waited for her to answer, Elsa felt a plug in her throat, it hurt to talk around her fear. "C-c-co-co-conceal, d-"

"So why didn't you!?" The furious man interrupted his daughter, "You have been walking on thin ice for a long time, and you just fell through. Don't you ever touch my daughter again, don't you ever hurt her!" The words stung Elsa, they destroyed her inside, everything Anna had built up to help her older sister was gone. Swept away with just a few words. A rock, no, a boulder was pulling Elsa under, and she was quickly drowning.

Tears poured uncontrollably down Elsa's face as she began to yell back with a strength her voice couldn't carry long. "W-what about m-m-me!?" The girl was all out crying now, mucus, tears, and saliva strewn across her face as she continued yelling. "I-I'm your d-d-daughter t-to-t-too!" The platinum blonde's heart was beating fast, drying her throat as it went. She had never talked back to her father before.

The man took a breath filled with rage and quietly exhaled in a voice rich with hate "you are no daughter of mine." That moment was when Elsa broke. The world spiraled around her. She truly had nothing left, no hope, nothing. She had been swept under the tide and had drowned painfully, cold water flooding her lungs and burning her insides.

Elsa collapsed to the floor, unable to breath, unable to bear the weight of her father's words. Nothing would ever fill her emptiness, nothing would ever cure her loneliness. Her heart was torn into a million pieces, dispersing and being eaten violently by the nothingness inside of her. _I have no one. Nothing._ Crippled on the floor, Elsa shuddered in cold hate and unending despair, trapping her in an impenetrable cocoon of bitter loneliness, of hopelessness. She wanted out, she needed out. Now. _I have to go._

Without thinking, the platinum blonde had her wallet and car keys in her hand and was running, not even registering that she was moving. Her dad made no effort to stop her. Elsa ran out of the front door full speed. She was so lost in her world of overpowering lonely nothingness that she didn't hear the terrified screams of Anna. She didn't hear the pleading of her sister, she didn't hear the painful howls of torment chasing after her as her younger sister cried out into the night.

After running through a black of night for what felt like forever, Elsa stopped. The girl hadn't even stopped to get in her car, she just ran. Feat raw from the roughness of asphalt, she leaned against a street light and was panting hard, her lungs almost bursting with each breath. Her heart was pumping far to fast, far to violently, she could feel it in her throat choking her. Slowly allowing reality to set in, Elsa curled into a ball on the pavement. She laid there, crying loudly into the night, allowing painful tears to rip from her eyes and jump to the ground just inches bellow. _This is how I'm meant to live,_ she thought, _Alone._

 


	6. Chapter 6

Anna stood in the hallway, unsure why her father looked so furious. _Why does he want to talk to Elsa?_ She was so happy where she was just moments ago. _Anna honed in on the sound of her father's voice_.

"What was that!? Why are you touching my daughter!? Don't you dare infect her with your repulsive ways! What did I tell you!?" The man sounded angry, he sounded like he was a time bomb on its last few ticks. Terror filled Anna, petrifying her where she was. _What did Elsa do?_ Anna's heart sank like a ship with half a hull.

A tiny voice barely passed the door, the fear and misery present in it sent horribly cold chills down the red head's spine. Elsa sounded completely broken. "C-c-co-co-conceal" _Conceal what!? I need some answers now!_ But Anna was terrified, she was stricken with the kind of fear that wraps you in steel and holds you in place. It sent painful goosebumps down her body, pushing tears from her eyes.

Her father's voice came through again, this time louder. "So why didn't you!? You have been walking on thin ice for a long time, and you just fell through. Don't you ever touch my daughter again, don't you ever hurt her!" _What!? What did Elsa do!? What's going on!? Why are they talking about me!? I like it when Elsa touches me, I like her warmth against my body, I need her!_ Anna tried to yell through the door but a clot plugged her throat, tearing her voice into a thousand tiny pieces.

Then Elsa's voice appeared again. This time it was stronger, but it quickly wavered, tapering off into a weak, pitiful one. "W-what about m-m-me? I-I'm your d-d-daughter t-to-t-too!" The sound of her older sister's voice made Anna cringe. It wasn't Elsa, it was nothing, there was no life behind it.

The next words from the room dazed Anna, breaking something inside her, leaving her in shock. They were barely whispered, but the hatred was clear in them as they were spat from her father. "you are no daughter of mine." _What? Answers! I love Elsa! You can't treat her like that!_ Anna felt broken inside, just imagining what her older sister was feeling right now was killing her, ripping her heart out and eating it.

Once the red head came out of shock she was about to burst in the room and yell around the cotton she was choking on. Powerful acid was digesting her stomach, burning her insides. Before Anna could make a move, Elsa darted out of the room. _Elsa, wait!_ The platinum blonde didn't seem to notice her sister as she ran by, tears strewn across her face. Elsa's eyes were devoid of anything, lifeless zombies eating her from the inside out.

Anna had no time to mentally berate her father as she chased her older sister. Elsa was surprisingly fast. The platinum blonde bolted out the front door and Anna attempted to run after her, only to feel arms grab her from behind. "Elsa! Stop! No!" Anna shouted. With each step the older girl took, Anna's heart was yanked further apart.

"She has to go." Her father's words infuriated Anna, they carried such contempt from the platinum blonde, contempt she didn't deserve.

"She can't go. I need her" Anna whispered to him, voice full of anger. She continued, now yelling after Elsa "I love you! Elsa please! Come back, talk to me! You're tearing me apart!" Her voice seemed to be lost in the night. It came out like a wounded dog calling for help, knowing it would never receive any. It simply sounded lost. With one last dragged out yell, Anna felt her voice take its leave and violent sobs take over her body, crumpling her to the ground. "Elsa!"

Anna's dad slammed the door, leaving the red head just inside of it, crying on the ground. He knelt down to wrap his arms around her, to try to protect her. But she would have none of it. "No! Get off me!" Anna yelled, pushing him away. Shoving her way passed her father, Anna ran upstairs to retrieve her phone. Her mother had watched the scene from the living room, scared stiff.

Flying into her older sister's room, Anna closed the door and locked it behind her. She scanned the room for her own phone, finding Elsa's first. _No no no no! Why did you leave your phone here, Elsa, why?_ Anna was beginning to panic, her head was pounding and her brain scarcely working. She grabbed her phone after finally finding it and called the one other person that might be able to help.

"Hello?" Kristoff sounded to be in quite a good mood.

"Kristoff! Elsa ran away and she doesn't have her phone or shoes, I don't know where she went because my dad held me from chasing her and I don't know what to do and-" Anna was talking too fast for her friend to understand her, her voice coming out in a jumble of panicked syllables.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there. Breathe. What happened?"

"Elsa," Anna took a deep breath, "she ran away. I don't know where she went and she doesn't have her phone." The red head was still talking fast, but this time the burly blonde picked up what she said.

He took a breath and started, "okay. It'll be okay. I'll look for her with you, do you know which way she went?" Kristoff's voice was worried but steady, helping to calm the raging hurricane in Anna's head. _Thank god someone other than me cares,_ Anna thought.

"She went left after leaving our yard. My dad held me from running after h-her." The red head's voice was trembling, tears threatening to drip from her eyes.

"I haven't gotten very far since leaving your house, I'll head back that way. Is she on foot?"

Around a lump in her throat, Anna croaked out "y-yeah."

A sigh of relief escape Kristoff, getting distorted over the phone. "She can't have gotten far. I'll stay on the line with you while I look for her."

Warm appreciation flooded through the red head like a wave, causing her torn heart to partially mend itself. _We_ _will_ _find her._ She was full out crying now, and she wiped mucus and tears off her face before gently whispering in the phone "t-thank you, Kristoff."

Just then, Elsa's phone buzzed, catching Anna off guard. She looked over at the name. _It's mom, she's calling Elsa! She cares!_ The red head let the phone ring, allowing Elsa's voice mail to pick up the call. Then her mom's voice started talking through the speakers. It sounded distraught, like she was crying. "Elsa, honey, I know your father seems like he hates you for what you told him-" _what did she tell him? What does everyone else know that I don't!?_ "-but please come home. We can work through this."

**click.**  
  
Anna was silent for a few long moments before she softly spoke into her own phone. "My mom just called Elsa's phone. I have to go talk to her."

"Okay" came Kristoff's reply.

"I'm leaving my phone on, I'll be right back." She intended to get answers, but first she wanted her mom to take her to find her older sister. _I have a feeling this all has to do with 'the worse part' Elsa referred to a long time ago._

Anna wasted no time in running downstairs. Heart burning with the need to find her sister, Anna arrived downstairs. There she found her mother sitting in the living room, very tense.

The red head's hands began to sweat as growing concern flooded her body, knocking her around in violent rapids. Stomach growling menacingly, Anna spoke to her mother, her voice moving almost faster than her thoughts. "Mom! What is going on? What happened? We have to find Elsa now!"

"She didn't answer her phone, I don't know where she went. When she comes back we will discuss what happened." There was a pain in the woman's voice, making it waver slightly.

"Yeah," Anna started slowly, "she left her phone in her room. We could drive around and look for her." Finding Elsa was first on the red head's priorities, understanding the confusion that just played out around her took a back seat.

"Okay." Anna's mother was clearly worried about something. _Maybe dad finding out we are looking for Elsa? I don't know, I guess I'll find out later._

The red head raced back up the stairs to grab her phone, tunnel visioned on only the thought of finding her sister. Still terrified and alone feeling, Anna managed to erase the grasp of confusion around her, allowing her fear to take full control of her efforts. There wasn't a single thought in her mind except for Elsa, for her sister, the one she was in love with. The one person she couldn't live with out. The girl's heart sank at the idea of having to live if Elsa was gone. She wouldn't be able to. As far as she was concerned, that life would be worse than any other torture. _I have to find her._

* * *

It had been a little over thirty minutes since Elsa ran from the house. The streetlight she stopped under had flickered out and she was in the fetal position on the ground. Her eyes were stinging with the tears they had dropped, and she was nearly out. Her nose dripped along with her mouth, covering her face in fluids. The emptiness inside of Elsa had only grown stronger, eating all of her hope, leaving her shivering in the cold. _Is this was dying feels like?_ No. This was worse. This was anything that had given Elsa hope or happiness abandoning her. This was all good things in her life turning on her and tormenting her, pulling her under that water slowly, savoring her suffering. This was life with nothing to live for. _Anna. Anna still loves me. I have to live for her._

Then a bright light started shining in Elsa's eyes, burning her already strained retinas. Squinting her eyes, she realized that they were headlights, but the car wasn't moving.

Kristoff spotted the signature platinum blonde hair shining in his headlights, Elsa was curled up on the ground under a streetlight that had burnt out. "Anna, I found her" he said into the phone, his voice calm yet relieved.

"What!? Where is she!? Bring her back home! Me and my mom will meet you there." The two had gone out searching for Elsa, taking a different route than Kristoff to cover more ground.

"Okay, I will. I'm going to leave my phone in the car, but it will be on. I'm gonna go talk to her."

"Kristoff," Anna's voice was small, tears almost pushing through her phone, "thank you so much." And at that the red head began to softly cry.

"I'm gonna bring your sister home. I'll see you soon, Anna." Kristoff's voice was calming. The storm seemed to be coming to an end. _Everything will unfold finally, I'll finally understand what is going on,_ Anna thought to herself.

Kristoff stepped out of the car, leaving the engine on. The headlights illuminated a shining aura around Elsa's heartbroken body. The burly blonde slowly approached her, hesitant to touch her.

Elsa watched as Kristoff stepped out of his car and made his way over. Her heart was pounding, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She knew he would take her back to her house, where the man that pushed her down until she broke was. The man who over the years destroyed any hope for her at feeling happy and finished the job tonight. The man that implanted every fear she has in to her, the man she hated more than anything else. She didn't want to go back. Elsa wanted to stay here, in her nothingness, never letting the world touch her again. She wanted to float in an infinity devoid of anything. _I have to be alone. I deserve to hurt._

"Elsa," Kristoff's voice was very cautious, like he was trying not to wake a terrible beast. _I am a beast._ The man continued, "Elsa, you can talk to me. I know we don't hang out much but you are my friend, and I'm here for you."

The words warmed Elsa's heart somewhere. Deep down in her mind there was a voice silently calling out that she had a chance to turn this back around. But that voice was squashed by a giant boot, leaving the platinum blonde in her ocean of loneliness, drowning. Her voice was horse and barely audible, "g-g-go a-w-way."

"Elsa," Kristoff pleaded, "Anna needs you. She's scared and confused. She's alone."

The mention of her younger sister burned Elsa's insides, violently scalding her. Everything hurt, every inch of her body was drenched and drowning in her own sorrow. Then Anna's words rang through her mind, memories of those words that Elsa yearned to hear, that she had heard from no one but Anna in years. _I love you, Elsa._ The thought of Anna's sweet voice saying the words split an ocean in the platinum blonde. _I love you too, Anna, more than you know. More than I should._ Elsa quickly was enveloped in tears again, her heart aching. _How much did I hurt you by running like that?_ The burly blonde next to Elsa was quick to wrap his arms around his friend, allowing her to cry on his shoulder. And that is what she did. Elsa pushed her face onto Kristoff's shoulder, crying loudly, a massive lump in her throat squeezing her airway closed.

"Hey," Kristoff began, his voice gentle as a feather on her ears, "you can talk to me. You can trust me, I'm here. Anna is waiting at home."

Elsa looked weakly at her friend, her eyes gray with hopelessness. _I can't tell him._ She was alone in her world of darkness and Kristoff was not the way out. _I'm supposed to be alone._ Elsa couldn't talk to him, she was far to terrified of everything. _He'll hate me. He'll tell everyone and I'll be even more alone._ Even though it was seemingly impossible to be more alone, the thought terrified Elsa. The platinum blonde girl couldn't help but flash back to that painful day, her heart trembling on its knees, dying slowly.

* * *

A fifteen year old Elsa wandered out of her room on a Saturday morning in the early fall. Platinum blonde strands of hair were tangled and jutting out every which way and she wore sweatpants and a light blue t-shirt. She was happy, there was a certain bounce in her step. A bounce her father knew well. As she fixed herself a bowl of cereal her dad couldn't help but tease her. "Who is it this time?" Elsa and her father were close back then, she would talk to him about everything, especially when she had a crush. He had Elsa's complete trust. Her father quickly realized that she was in to both boys and girls, as most of the time his daughter would bring up other girls, but about a third of the time it was some boy. Although he was slightly disgruntled at his daughter's sexuality, he decided that it wasn't unbearable.

Elsa got a warm bubbly feeling inside of her as she thought of her new found crush. Her cheeks lit up as her imagination took her mind on a small journey. Teasingly, the platinum blonde gave her father a hint. "Well, she's a bit younger than me. Where's Anna?"

"Hmm, so it's a girl this time." Her dad struck an exaggerated pose of thought, "your sister and mother are out doing... well, something probably." The man laughed a little.

Unable to stifle a giggle, Elsa failed her first attempt at eating her cereal, dropping it right back in the bowl. "Okay. Yes, _she's_ a girl."

"Well, does _she_ have a name?"

Elsa smirked, a light blush crossing her cheeks. "Yes, she does."

"Well, come on then, who is it?"

"I'm gonna make you guess." Elsa had a smug smile on her face.

The girl's dad leaned back in his chair, putting his hand to his chin. "Okay then. But first, how much do you like this girl?"

Elsa thought about her crush. _A lot. More than all of my previous crushes combined._ Her heart beat rapidly at just the thought of the girl, her skin crawling. With a stomach buzzing with bees making warm honey and spreading it through her body, the platinum blonde replied "more than I've liked anyone before. Just the thought of her makes me feel all tingly inside." Elsa found her cheeks hotter than a fire, lighting up bright red.

"Sounds like you really like her. Is she from school?"

"Nope." Elsa took a bite of her cereal.

"Hmm. Okay. How long have you liked this girl?"

The girl talked with her mouth full. "A long time, I don't exactly remember when I started liking her."

Mr. Arendelle gave a thoughtful nod, "so you've known her a while. Do I know her?"

Elsa burst out laughing, "well I would certainly hope so! You see her all the time!"

"What color is her hair?"

A goofy smile sealed itself on Elsa's lips, stretching from ear to ear. "Red." Elsa could picture that soft red hair, she even knew what it felt like. It felt like a silk cloud, like a piece of heaven. She got lost in picturing her crush, losing herself in a world with only the two of them. A world with only pure happiness dripping from above, covering them in a warm comfort, protecting them.

"You look like you're in love with her, you have the exact same face I always made- and still make- when thinking about your mother." Elsa's dad smiled at his daughter. He loved to see her this happy, and he hoped this girl wouldn't break his little girl's heart.

"In love? Really?" Elsa's tone was kind of flat, like she didn't believe a word he was saying.

"Well yeah, when someone is in love you can see it in their eyes. When they think of that special someone their eyes come to life, revealing an entire new world, brightening their face."

Elsa pondered this for a moment, heart fluttering at the idea of being in love. _I know I've liked her for a long time, and over time I've just gotten to like her more. Now when we aren't hanging out together it's_ _like a piece of me is missing, like half my soul is gone._ It fit, it made sense. It explained why Elsa couldn't get her mind off her crush day in and day out, why she was on top of the world when her crush was with her. "That makes sense, it explains everything I've been feeling lately."

The platinum blonde's father smiled smugly at her, "so, who is it?"

Elsa bit her lip, her heart beating fast, palms sweating. She was nervous to tell her father the truth, scared that he'd think differently about her. Cold chills ran the length of her spine, she shuddered at the thought. _But he hasn't thought anything differently about me before, even the first time I said I liked another girl, and then I was just as nervous then as I am now._ Having convinced herself all would be well, Elsa finally answered her dad. In a shy, quiet voice she said the name of the person she was in love with, "Anna." Elsa knew it was taboo, she knew she wasn't supposed to be attracted to her own sister, but she was. She had just accepted the fact that she had feelings for Anna the previous night while watching a movie with her, that's why Elsa was so giddy that morning.

Her father raised one eyebrow at her, sending a cold pulse through her. _Is he mad?_ But his voice was even. "I was mistaken, I know you love your sister, but there is a difference between the love you feel for a family member and being in love with someone. Both are very powerful bonds."

Elsa's heart skipped a beat, her dad didn't believe her. But she was attracted to Anna, she loved the touch of her younger sister's skin, it sent shivers down her spine. Good ones. Every minute of every day Elsa's heart yearned to be with Anna, to hug her or just be near her. She straightened her face and stared intently at the man sitting at the table with her. "I am in love with her. I want to kiss her, I want to-"

Seeming quite a bit put off put by his daughter's insistence, the man interrupted her, "you're just confused, Elsa."

This sparked an engine inside of Elsa, one that spat fire out of every pore, that could tear apart a mountain if it had to. Anger. She had spent ages trying to sort through her feelings for Anna, trying to figure out what they were. After so long of that, her dad had just given her the answer that morning, and she knew in her heart it was right. _Why doesn't he believe me?_ Elsa's blood was starting to boil from the fire raging inside of her. "Why don't you believe me? I'm in love with Anna! I've been confused by these feelings for the longest time and you give me the answer then just shrug it off like I'm just a confused little girl!?"

Elsa's father looked intently at her, anger rising in his face. "Now you listen here, no daughter of mine is going to have those feelings for her _sister._ Those are not feelings you can have."

Those words just made Elsa go even higher in flames, her heart became an erupting volcano. But there was another pain to the words, a sharp stinging. A knife through the heart. _No daughter of mine_ repeated in Elsa's mind. _Did he just say I'm not his daughter? I do have these feelings._ "But I do have them! I'm in love with Anna! I'm in love with Anna! I'm in love with Anna!" Elsa's voice betrayed no heartbreak, but rather boiling rage, each repetition of her words becoming louder.

"Those feelings are wrong, they are grotesque! You can't feel that, you have to stop!" Elsa's father was clearly angry now.

"You can't stop me!"

At that, the man got up and placed his hands on the table, leaning over his daughter. Not yelling but still furiously he spoke "yes I can. From now on, no playing with Anna, no talking to her, no nothing. You are to keep in your room, if she knocks, don't let her in. If you do, you will have to suffer the consequences."

Initially, Elsa thought that her father was only speaking out of anger, that he would get over it. After all, she couldn't imagine someone reacting so poorly to the news. But still, the words shot through her heart, sinking it like a rock. The girl's stomach churned, revolting against the food she had just eaten, and her head went dizzy. A piece of Elsa was crushed at those words, but not nearly all of her, she still had happiness, she still had hope. There were still lines in the water she could hang on to, and plenty of them. So she used them, she rebelled with them.

To start out, Elsa made it a point to be seen with Anna as much as possible, to infuriate her father, to show him he wasn't in control. Elsa would still be so at ease, so happy with her sister. She would fly above the clouds where the arrows shot from her father couldn't reach. But he fought back, trying to salt Elsa's feelings for Anna like a poor snail, drying it until it couldn't hold on to the tiny clutches of life anymore.

First was the curfew, no later than nine P.M. could either of the girls stay out. Unfortunately for him, this did not have the desired effect. He wanted to crush Elsa through her already limited social life, but she didn't mind the new rule. The girl would just come home and hang out with her sister, as if to gloat at him.

The man had another plan, though. One much more heinous. Every day when his daughters got home from school he would pull Elsa aside into his study. There he would drill her, he would slowly squander any incestuous thoughts she was having, any hope she had of being with Anna. At first, he said "conceal, don't feel" over and over again, but the words had little affect on Elsa. They needed a catalyst to work, so he gave them one. The man never once raised a hand to his daughter, but he used words to inflict much worse, much more lasting pain. Over time, Elsa's will began to falter at her father's words. He would call her disgusting, an abomination, anything that could hurt. He saw this working, Elsa was slowly becoming more and more hopeless, she was becoming scared of him. The platinum blonde was being crushed like a bug under a shoe, doing her best to fight back but still breaking under the weight.

Once she was weak enough, he delivered the killing blow. Words that stung her like no others did before, words that once and for all took happiness and hopes of being with Anna out of her mind. Simple words. "Anna will hate you if she finds out." And the girl was weak enough of believe them, to take them to heart. At those words, Elsa built her infamous walls of ice. They towered into the sky, surrounding her in every direction. She was alone to brave her sea, choppy and full of dangerous water. Using her vulnerability to his advantage, Elsa's father burned his motto into her head, never letting her put it down. "Conceal, don't feel." It burned her hands everywhere she carried it, but the threat of her sister hating her pushed Elsa to take the pain. To live without the red head she had fallen head over heals for would hurt far worse.

Before that point, Elsa's stutter had largely faded, it was a rare occurrence. Now, however, it came to light. The stutter came back because Elsa was broken, she was always terrified now. This caused her to clam up, to rarely speak to Anna, or her mom, and to never speak to the other kids at school. She was already socially anxious, but that alone she could work past, the combination of her stutter and anxiety were like an impenetrable fortress. This was the start of Elsa's painful years of loneliness.

Mr. Arendelle had told his wife, and she didn't agree with how he was handling the situation, but he was determined his way was correct. At first, the woman completely ignored her eldest daughter, but over time she came to accept the fact that Elsa was in love with Anna as much as she could. Their relationship stayed existent, if just barely. They scarcely talked but the two didn't hate each other, Elsa's mom was just uncomfortable with the situation. But over time, as Elsa's self esteem was slowly crushed by the self loathing created by her father, her mother sat idly by, wanting to help but unsure how. She had already tried talking to her husband on multiple occasions, but he wouldn't hear it. Elsa was slipping in to oblivion, and there was no one throwing her more than a thread, except for Anna. The red head threw her sister everything she could, but Elsa was too scared to take hold. Too scared to let herself be seen. Too scared of being rejected by Anna, having to live with her younger sister hating her.

Every day Anna would knock on Elsa's door and at first Elsa would scarcely reply, but every time she ignored her sister or forbade her entry it would tear a tiny piece of the older girl's heart off. It stung like a wasp, she couldn't keep doing it. To this end, Elsa made a vow never to push Anna away completely, allowing her younger sister in her room was the first step. Of course there were repercussions from Mr. Arendelle, but it was worth it for Elsa to see Anna smile.

Elsa kept this up and her dad became more and more hateful of her. He began to loathe her, and she him. His words would bring a violent thunderstorm, striking every muscle in her body, crushing any hope that would build up while she was with Anna. Elsa began to become trapped, fighting for air, battling her insides, battling the flood. She wanted to feel her emotions for Anna, she wanted to feel them openly, but she couldn't. She couldn't because her father's words had been branded into her mind "Anna will hate you if she finds out."

* * *

Elsa came back to the present, where she was still being held by her friend. The platinum blonde's eyes were ripe with red and tears, her throat filled with a dried and cracking lump. Finally, she forced herself to choke out an answer to Kristoff, "I-I can't t-t-tell y-you."

Surprisingly to Elsa, Kristoff did not push her any further, but rather his voice was gentle. "That's okay, I understand. Elsa, let me bring you home, Anna is waiting."

_Home._ The thought brought a strange mixture of comfort and renewed terror to Elsa. She wanted to see Anna again, her heart was howling at the moon for it. _But no place my father is is a home_. The thought sent unwelcome shivers down her spine. She could almost hear the red head's pleads, her painful cries. Elsa wanted to stop those cries, to hold her younger sister and tell her everything would be okay. _But you can't. Conceal, don't feel._ Those words were beginning to mean nothing to her, tonight she had realized just how useless those years of fighting were, how she suffered for nothing. _Hiding it won't change anything._ Elsa decided long ago that no matter how conflicted she was on the inside, she needed to always put Anna first. As a sister at least, Elsa had to be there. When Anna hurt, Elsa fell completely. "O-o-k-kay" Elsa's voice was wavering.

The platinum blonde felt herself being lifted, but she was scarcely aware what was truly going on, she was too lost in her thoughts. In her pain. She felt herself slowly sitting down in Kristoff's car. He picked up his phone and with a sigh of relief he spoke, "I've got her. We are on our way."

The words hit Anna like a train, bringing her back to reality. For several minutes there had been silence from the other end, and the red head began to let her imagination take over, getting lost in what would happen when Elsa was back. But now Elsa was coming back. _She is coming home! I have to hug her and smother her!_ Relief and excitement washed through Anna's body, dissipating any worries she had left. Although Elsa was only gone for a little while, worry had infested the red head's body like a rat's nest. Now, however, it was gone, Anna could breathe. The pump of her heart felt like a hammer trying to escape her ribcage and her stomach filled with sharp butterflies.

The red head, who was currently sitting in the living room with her mother, yelled out "Elsa is on her way back! Kristoff found her!"

The girl's mother let out a sigh of relief. The next few minutes couldn't have gone by slower for Anna. She raced outside, anxiously waiting for Kristoff's car to pull up. Willing for her friend to show up with the girl she was in love with, her older sister. Anna didn't care how broken Elsa was, she would be there for her, she would build her back up, whatever it took. The thought sent a warm fuzzy sensation through the red head's body, warming her heart and settling in her stomach. _I'm going to help Elsa. No matter what._

After what seemed like aeons of waiting, it finally happened. Anna's heart skipped a beat or fifty as she processed that it had finally happened. Almost immediately, the red head was yanking the passenger side door open.

There she was. Hair glowing in the moonlight, rough and tangled. Elsa's face was pointed to the ground, shame written like a scarlet letter on it. She stared at her own feet. The older girl looked like she was barely able to stand, she looked like a mess. When she looked up at Anna, the red head saw her eyes. Those irises that were always so rich and blue, so cool and calming were now devoid and gray. They looked empty. _I don't blame her, after whatever happened between her and dad._ The platinum blondes' face was covered with the left overs of her crying, dried and wet tears amongst other things.

"I'll leave you guys to talk. Call me if you need anything." Kristoff was sincere with his words.

As the burly blonde turned to leave, Anna whispered to him "thank you."

Kristoff acknowledged the thank you and drove off. Anna pulled Elsa into a tight embrace, pressing her face into the crook of her older sister's neck. Elsa's body was cold but inviting, a strange feeling. A flood of warm water washed over Anna, it made her feel like there was heated honey inside of every bone in her body, it made her want to melt. Anna felt her sister's arms wrap around her back as the older girl fell into the hug. Those warm, tingly goosebumps ran the length of the red head's body, making her stand on her tip toes. She once again felt like a balloon rising above the earth, the knowledge that she would be there for Elsa no matter what was her helium. Anna not so gently whispered into Elsa's ear, "I was so worried. I'm never going to let you down again, Elsa, I'll always be here, just promise you won't run away from me."

The warmth of here sister's breath on her ear sent shivers down Elsa's spine, but not the cold, frightening ones that had been running up and down her body that night. These ones were warm, chasing away her hopelessness, filling her with a tiny amount of hope. Anna's body pressed against her own was melting Elsa. The red head was once again shining light through the walls, making it so the platinum blonde could just barely see. Warming her face, putting the pieces of her heart back together. The older girl had giant butterflies in her stomach as she quietly responded to her sister "I p-promise." Her voice was still shaky and her eyes threatened tears. With the warm embrace of Anna, the platinum blonde couldn't help but start to fight against her emotions again. Old habits die hard. _Conceal, don't feel._ Although Elsa still believed those words and they still seemed like the right thing to do, she couldn't help but plant a seed of doubt, nurturing it with what little hope she had left.

Elsa's words licked Anna's ear, teasing them with a light tickle. That tickle traversed her body, caressing her heart and concentrating in her stomach. _I have to tell Elsa how I feel, now. It isn't how I wanted to tell her, but she needs to know._ Anna took a deep breath, calming her nerves that were getting rowdy that the thought of spilling the beans to her sister. "Elsa," she whispered, "I'm i-"

"Get away from my daughter! What did I tell you, Elsa!?" Her father's words scared even Anna, she couldn't imagine what her sister was going through right now. _He cut me off! I was about to tell Elsa and he just cut me off!_

Anna wasted no time spinning around and spitting back at her father, "she's just as much your daughter as I am!" The red head was still calling out for answers, still lost in her woods of confusion, but she had to defend Elsa.

"That _thing_ is not my daughter! Don't you say that, you don't know what she is."

The man's words just fueled Anna's rage like logs to a fire. "I know what she is, she's my sister, your daughter! She's the person I care about most in this world!"

Seeing Anna stand up for her grew Elsa's small seed into a tiny, fighting sapling. It was fighting for light in the darkness, soaking up any rays that Anna shone inside. Her younger sister siding with her over their father caused the platinum blonde to finally, after so long, truly doubt her fathers words. _Anna will hate you if she knows._ The thought began to sound fake, fabricated like it was. But Elsa couldn't put her faith in its falsehood just yet, she had to fight, she had to keep her walls up.

Their father yelled back, "she doesn't deserve love! No one as disgusting as her does! You just don't know the story!"

This boiled Anna over, she exploded. The only thing that could make her blood boil and her heart pump like that was someone hurting Elsa, and hurting her a lot. Fiery rage spewing out of her eyes, Anna yelled back "Then tell me! And I guarantee that no matter what it was will _not_ change how much I care about Elsa! She deserves all the love in the world!"

"What I will tell you, girl," the man's voice had taken on a furious whisper, "is that she is not living in this house. She will leave tonight, I don't care where she goes, but you will not see her again."

"She isn't leaving." Elsa was stunned to hear her mother's voice coming to her aide. After all this time, so long watching her daughter being beaten like a stray dog in the rain, the woman finally came through for her. "She _is_ _our_ daughter, and she will live under this roof if she pleases."

Elsa's father seemed stunned. He couldn't process that his wife, full well knowing what his daughter was, would be okay with the girl staying at home. Finally, after arguing with himself and letting plentiful steam fly out of his ears, he spoke to the platinum blonde. "Very well. You will not talk to Anna, Elsa. You will not interact with her in any way. You are not to leave your room unless it's time to eat or go to work, because you will be getting a job. I will check both of your rooms frequently, if I find you so much as talking to my daughter, I will kick you out, Elsa." He turned to leave. "Oh, and we will check your text and calling history, Elsa."

Anna's voice was loud enough to wake the dead now. "Why? Why do you hate her? She didn't do anything!"

"Yes she did, Anna! Enough, one more word and I will lock Elsa out!" Their father's threat sounded true enough, so Anna stopped speaking.

The red head was still confused, she still needed answers. A lump had formed in Anna's throat as she made sure her dad was out of sight. Spinning around, she once again tightly embraced her sister.

The platinum blonde didn't know how to react to what had just happened. She had just seen her father defeated, something she tried for so long to do. But now Anna showed how much she truly cared. She swept away Elsa's dams, leaving the older girl to fight the rapids by herself. The rapids of her feelings for her sister. The ones she couldn't give in to. _No matter what, there is no happy ending for us. I can never be with her._ So Elsa had to fight, she had to use what was left of her strength. But right by her was the sapling she had planted. The seed of hope, being nourished by Anna's torrent, growing stronger by the second. Elsa had to stomp it out, she had to get rid of it. _It was a mistake letting it grow in the first place, now I have to kill it. I can't let my feelings control me. I'm in love with Anna, but I have to push it down, never feel it again._ And the best way Elsa knew how to do that was with a door.

Without warning, Elsa broke from the hug with her sister and sprinted up stairs, tears streaming down her face once again. Her heart tore as she ran from Anna, as she escaped to her room, locking the door behind her. The pleads from Anna attacked her ears, sending a dull ache through her throat. The red head's cries were arrows with flaming tips ripping through Elsa's heart, tearing apart her stomach as they went. "Elsa! Let me help! Please don't shut me out!" But she had to. _I can't feel for her. I have to get over these feelings._ "Elsa! Please.." Anna's started whimpering at the door, her knocks getting quieter and weaker.

Elsa couldn't breath passed the hand grabbing her throat and ripping out her esophagus. The tide rose, sinking her in water, filling her lungs, slowly killing her. "Go away, Anna." Her words were just loud enough. The red head's cries sent an onslaught at Elsa, tearing the older girl limb from limb. Elsa was choking, alone in her cell, naked and cold.

"I'll still be there for you. No matter what." Then the growing sobs from outside the door started to trail away down the hall. But the next words Elsa heard were the most painful ones yet. They erased any feeling of self worth Elsa had left. They left Elsa feeling like a rotten old corpse inside. "I though you promised never to run again." Anna's voice was weak from down the hall. The words stung Elsa's heart, sending a twisted knife through the organ. It bled everywhere inside the girl. _I truly don't deserve happiness. What have I done to her?_

 


End file.
